Thursday, December 28, 2023

Q4 2023 - Ends with the worst movie of all times.


Podcast-review - Google / Samsung

Podcast-review - Apple


POPULAR BOLLYWOOD

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ANIMAL - MINUS 2 STARS.





Animal - Trailer 

Directed by - Sandeep Reddy Vanga

Starring - Ranbir Kapoor, Anil Kapoor, Bobby Deol, Rashmika Mandanna, Tripti Dimri


Why Watch it - Because you are a sheep and need to watch what others are watching. You can always use this movie to your advantage by using it as a barometer of how good / bad a company you keep. If people around you love this movie, either you are part of the sick or you need to distance yourself from these people who will one day turn out to be a mistake as a relationship. 

Why Not - I have watched movies for 40 years and this is easily the worst movie of all times. Generally I give 1-2 stars to movies that are boring. Zero stars to movies that clearly don't make an attempt of any sorts and are proudly bad. This one is prying on a dead carcass of a society that pretends to have some morals. This does a job what Trump does for racists, give them a voice to be proud of their regressive mentality. This movie gives voice to everyone in Indian society who know they are wrong but they can have a release by watching this movie. Now they feel vindicated for their nastiness. Anyways I have done enough of a rant on my podcast so won't do it here again. The movie has no character development or a story that makes sense. This is a soft porn kink for sick fantasies of Ranbir and Vanga as one scene after other makes no sense except showing fantasies of losers who have never won anything and hence have these weird fantasy of putting everyone under their boots one day. If you need an example in one scene Ranbir rounds up 3 women including a heavily pregnant one and threatens to shoot them, I think fires around them as pregnant women's water breaks and he says just don't show any mercy kill them. Don't mistake the movie for a action movie it is series of dark fantasies of Mr Vanga. 


DUNKI - 2.5 STARS.






Dunki - Trailer

Directed by Rajkumar Hirani

Starring - Shah Rukh Khan, Taapsee Pannu, Vicky Kaushal, Boman Irani

Why Watch It - It is a Rajkumar Hirani film. You are guaranteed that it won't be a spy thriller or a south indian style one man army movie. That is a huge relief. Story is about SRK, Tapsee and couple of friends who want to go to London for various reasons and chose to do it illegally through Dunki route that has been in news lately. If nothing at least watch Vicky Kaushal who is putting in a good performance even for this mediocre affair, but he is there only for first 30 mins. 

Why Not - Film addresses a serious subject, Dunki route that millions take to illegally immigrate to western countries and in the process die or have even worse lives than their own lives at home. Unfortunately nothing is serious about this movie except the subject. Rajkumar Hirani has now entered the category of Uncle Hirani who has lost his touch and is living in 1990s and 2000s. The jokes are dated and songs look jaded. Everyone is over acting like they are in a Barjatya movie. SRK hardly tries anything anymore and just relies on making a few eye brow twisting faces on his old plasticy face. They scuttle all Dunki route stuff in 15 mins and focus on PJs driven 90s comedy about English speaking. In fact they made the illegal immigration routes a joke by making it a to and fro affair. Anyways sadly this big movie is still better than all other big movies that have come out this year. 


SAM BAHADUR - 3.5 STARS.





Sam Bahadur - Trailer

Directed by - Meghna Gulzar

Starring - Vicky Kaushal, Fatima Sana Shaikh, Sanya Malhotra


Why Watch it - Vicky Kaushal, Vicky Kaushal and Vicky Kaushal. He can transform himself into a character like no other. I was genuinely confused if this person is actually Vicky Kaushal. He transformed into Sam Bahadur. A technically well shot and well made war movie. With Meghna Gulzar you do expect it to be well made. 

Why Not - When great directors like Meghna have given in to the 'New India' of making one sided war movies trying to please the authorities it is safe to say Films have also been conquered and have not remained free from oppression. Soon India will churn out movies whatever North Korea sees, about how great North Korean authorities are. The movie is predictably showing Sam Bahadur being great, never making a mistake, never in any sort of confusion or stress. Just one great man, and as the authorities would like Nehru and even Indira Gandhi are just some weaklings Sam Bahadur has to carry the load of. Historians don't need to be worried anymore. We know how to write our own history. Pak side of generals are just caricatures that don't need any development either.


MISSION RANIGANJ - 3.5 STARS.






Mission Raniganj - Trailer

Directed by - Tinu Suresh Desai

Starring - Akshay Kumar, Parineeti Chopra

Why Watch it - A Kaala Pathhar type of movie without the star power and drama. This stays true to being more of a documentary on an actual miners escape in Raniganj. Made on a shoe string budget with very fake sardarji getup of Akshay Kumar. The movie keeps your interest alive and has been done well. Parineeti is in the movie for 5 minutes, but she is always a reason to watch a movie. 

Why Not - From the get go you know what is going to happen. Very fake one sided villains that don't have much to add. The melodrama of trapped miners and their families is very typical and boring. 


GHOOMER - 4.0 STARS






Ghoomer - Trailer

Directed by - R. Balki

Starring - Shabana Azmi, Abhishek Bachchan, Saiyami Kher, Angad Bedi

Why Watch It - Abhishek Bachchan's stylish potrayal of a drunk Ex Test bowler. The good script that gives you goose bumps. A feel good movie, that makes you believe that conquering all odds is a possibility. Saiyami plays her character well, Angad Bedi does a great supporting role. This also features in my Podcast as a contrast to Tiger 3. 

Why Not - It's an off beat movie, not your main stream South Indian style drab fest with one liners and physics defying stunts. 


KBKJ - 1.5 STARS






Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan - Trailer

Directed by - Farhad Samji

Starring - Salman Khan, Pooja Hegde, Venkatesh

Why Watch It - You like movies that come in the category of 'It is so bad, that it is good?' Salman's Ram Leela style long hair wig? The hilarious plot that revolves around just one thing that must have gotten stuck with Sallu bhai 'Mein kisi ka bhai aur kisi jaan hu, isliye mujhe Bhai Jaan kehte hai.' Also sallu bhai needed some bad South Indian influence so might as well put a southie villain and a southie family that sallu bhai suddenly needs to protect. What else? mmm... oh yea.. How about the incredibly low IQ songs and dances that will put any dancer or singer to shame. 

Why Not - Read above. 


GADAR 2 - 1.5 STARS





Gadar 2 - Trailer

Directed by - Anil Sharma

Starring - Sunny Deol, Ameesha Patel, Utkarsh Sharma, Gaurav Chopra, Manish Wadhwa, Simrat Kaur

Why Watch It - You have been living under a rock and you love to hate on all minorities, especially muslims. You always wanted to watch movies with soft hatred for muslims and Pak bashing. You did not know about these movies that come out every month and have seen none of it. Then you should go watch this. Also in the climax there is a scene where Sunny papaji is yelling for 5 minutes straight for no reason. I think the dialogue writer forgot to write his lines and so he just yells one big yell forever at the villain. I would have to give it to him, if it was taken in one shot, that alaap was pretty good. 

Why Not - Ameesha Aunty still thinks she needs to look pretty and plastic just like old times. She makes these faces that are hard to describe, but my guess is she is trying to look pretty. Obviously she still does not think acting is something she needs to learn. Sunny papaji has zero chemistry with her or his screen son, who is another nepo baby. This time son of the director. The plot is simple - Paki villain who yells - tumhare hindustan ko blah blah blah... and Sunny papa roars AAAAEEEEEEEE. All Indian audience run to the theater to check it out. 


TIGER 3 - 2.0 STARS.






Tiger 3 - Trailer

Director - Maneesh Sharma

Stars - Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Emraan Hashmi

Why Watch It - You can't miss a Sallu movie? You like Spy thrillers that have Tiger in their title? Tiger comes in for third edition of saving the country from guess who?? Yes... Pakistan! A country which is reeling under huge natural disasters and debt. The country which can hardly function on their own, but according to Bollywood Pakistan has unlimited resources and India has only one man - Tiger. It is not the worst of the 4-5 big movies that have been released this year. Let's put them together. When Pathaan came we thought nothing can be worse than this, but then we got slapped by Jawaan and later kicked by Animal, in that comparison Tiger is a great entertainer! Pathaan > Tiger 3 > Gadar 2 > Jawaan > Animal. 

Why Not - 3 hours of non stop mind numbing action. Emraan Hashmi sleep walking along with everyone else through the roles that have been done countless times. Salman running around with Pak PM all over their parliament building, if I was not in the theater I would be enjoying it as a comedy but it was a torture in the theater as I had no where to go. 


OMG 2 - 3.0 STARS






OMG 2 - Trailer

Directed by - Amit Rai

Starring - Akshay Kumar, Pankaj Tripathi, Yami Gautam Dhar

Why Watch it - OMG was a pretty good movie, I did not have much hope of this one, because from OMG1 to OMG 2 a lot has changed as far as freedom of making movies is concerned. I was expecting this one a Pro Pseudo Religion where God does magic tricks, unlike the OMG where god actually throws light on our stupid behavior. This one had some entertaining moments in parts and was a good attempt to put in some progressive thought regarding sex education and taboos. 

Why Not - A long didactic diatribe (that's the most words I remember from my GRE word list) regarding sex education in schools. God doesn't do much and only comes in parts to just inspire a  dad to fight for sex education in schools? Come on man... sorry come on God, if you had time you should have done a bigger impact. 


BUDGET MOVIES
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LOST - 4.0 Stars.





Lost - Trailer

Directed by - Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury

Starring - Yami Gautam, Pankaj Kapur, Rahul Khanna, Neil Bhoopalam, Pia Bajpiee, Tushar Pandey

Why to Watch it - What a taut thought out script! Great execution and awesome presentation. Sometimes you get so numb seeing Hindi movies you don't realize they can make great movies. Yami Gautam one actor who takes her job sincerely and does not run after stupid high paying roles. She thrust herself in it as a investigative detective trying to find a missing person who is branded as a terrorist. She gets emotionally involved and roots for the missing person. So relatable, and Pankaj Kapur after a very long time gives us a great grand pa role to remember. 

Why Not - You watched Animal, Tiger 3, Gadar 2, Jawaan and liked all of them? 


KANJOOS MAKHICHOOS - 3.0 STARS





Kanjoos Makhichoos - Trailer

Directed by - Vipul Mehta

Starring - Kunal Khemu, Shweta Tripathi, Piyush Mishra, Alka Amin, Rajiv Gupta, Raju Srivastava

Why to Watch it - It starts of as the typical slapstick mindless comedy that Kunal Khemu is good at. It is hilarious in first half but luckily turns into a much more than a straight up comedy. Kunal Khemu is kanjoos and they leave no joke regarding kanjoosi that they could find. Later he sends his parents to theerth yatra where they get lost and the movie becomes serious only to become comic again when they all have to lie about a lot of things due to money they never thought they have to repay. 

Why Not - It's an okay movie, nothing special. If you have time to watch a nice time pass light movie go for it. If you skip you are not missing much either. 


KHUFIYA - 3.5 STARS





Khufiya - Trailer

Directed by - Vishal Bhardwaj

Starring - Tabu, Ali Fazal, Wamiqa Gabbi, Azmeri Haque Badhon


Why Watch It - It's a Vishal Bhardwaj movie, that's reason enough to watch it. But it maybe one of the weakest Vishal Bhardwaj movies. Still it's better than most. A spy thriller where the target is known, they know the person is spying on his own country but how to catch him, how to prove it. A different twist to a spy thriller. A very different take on it with good results. Ali fazal puts in an A+ performance, Tabu has become a regular in such roles. A lot of layers and thick plot in this tale of a spy who is on the run. 

Why Not - Could have been shorter, drags on a little. Lot of side plots and long drawn scenes. It's all good though. You should watch it. 


THE GREAT INDIAN FAMILY - 3.0 STARS





The Great Indian Family - Trailer

Directed by - Vijay Krishna Acharya

Starring - Vicky Kaushal, Manushi Chhillar, Manoj Pahwa. Kumud Mishra


Why Watch It - Nice typical North Indian middle class family affair with a few twists. Good to see old school values of national integration and unity in diversity themes in the movie. Vicky, this is the same Vicky that was in Sam Bahadur. Somehow this is not his forte, he is uncomfortable playing the UP Middle class Bhajan Kumar in a religious family. But he does okay job. His parents are very religious and then he finds out it is possible that he may be a Muslim. It's a good time pass entertainer.

Why Not - It does drag a little. It forces the small town life. As can be said about every movie, it can be shorter. It never reaches an emotional high that it could have and probably their was something missing in Vicky's ability to emote in emotional scenes or maybe it was the direction. 


ONE FRIDAY NIGHT - 3.5 Stars.




 


One Friday Night - Trailer

Directed by - Manish Gupta

Starring - Raveena Tandon, Milind Soman, Vidhi Chitalia

Why Watch it - It stars Raveena!! Anyone? Oh... am the only one excited about Raveena! umm.. ok. This was an unexpectedly good plot for a movie that looked like a small budget low effort movie. A successful rich guy has a side hustle of romancing girls outside his marriage. As he tries to juggle marriage and extra marital affair that lands him in his private bungalow off the grid. But a lot of unexpected things happen and it becomes a thriller. If they got someone better than Vidhi as the third main character this could have been a scary good movie. The acting abilities were not to the par. 

Why Not - Another small movie, and if you are 'Bollywood' fan who only know 5-10 movies that you care for. Then go waste your time somewhere else. If you want to put this in the background while you do dishes this is going to work. 


SUKHEE - 4.0 STARS





Sukhee - trailer

Directed by - Sonal Joshi

Starring - Shilpa Shetty Kundra, Amit Sadh, Dilnaz Irani, Kusha Kapila, Pavleen Gujral

Why Watch It - Because it has Shilpa Shetty!! umm ... no one? OK! Another movie that was unexpectedly good. Sukhi is a home maker with a wild fiery past as a teen and college kid. Now she has no excitement in life. Love of his life also has turned out to be a typical husband material. Then she goes to a reunion and she finds herself. 

Why Not - Shilpa Shetty! Only if she could emote! She wants to look young but won't put much effort in acting a La Ameesha Aunty. Amit Sadh has been good in many roles as cop but he is fish out of the water in the role of a shy lover. 


PIPPA - 2.5 STARS





Pippa - Trailer

Directed by - Raja Krishna Menon

Starring - Ishaan Khatter, Mrunal Thakur, Priyanshu Painyuli


Why Watch It - If you are not yet bored of war movies. There are 3-4 movies about Bangladesh freedom war and how India won against Evil Pakistan. Bangladesh is just a side story. This one probably is a great attempt at sowing a story around it between 2 brothers. Both have different personality but both are soldiers. Ishaan Khatter does pretty good and Mrunal Thakur has not much to do. Good change is she is sister of these 2 brothers. A welcome change from being a love interest. 

Why Not - It's another war movie beating up on Pakistan. Pippa is a tank that was used in the war and hence the name in case you were wondering and wanted to watch it because of that. The quality of showing the conflicts is pretty good and has some good war situations but no impact or emotion in this one. 


THANK YOU FOR COMING - 3.0 STARS





Thank You For Coming - Trailer

Directed by - Karan Boolani

Starring - Bhumi Pednekar, Shehnaaz Gill, Dolly Singh, Kusha Kapila, Shibani Bedi

Why Watch It - In case you want to watch a movie talk a lot about orgasm and girls obsessing about sex then go for it. A mod shod take on Bhumi's search for sex and orgasm and boy friends. Girl friends talk to each other and are each other's besties as they talk about how to get Bhumi the right guy and sex or both. Later it becomes kind of a thriller.

Why Not - If you want to watch a movie about girl friends I would suggest Sukhi. But this may be your cup of tea. Bhumi doesn't fit the role, she over plays it and just is not right. Others are okay too, but everything looks a little forced but I won't be surprised if some girls love it. 


APURVA - 4.0 STARS






Apurva - Trailer

Directed by - Nikhil Nagesh Bhat

Starring - Tara Sutaria

Why Watch it - Spoiler alert! The last dialogue uff... 'By The Way - My name is Dante!' (From count of Monte Cristo). What the heck am I talking about? I had read this thriller novel when I was a teenager and in the end he reveals himself as Dante. Anyways, the point is Tara Sutaria is abducted by 3 goons and it is her story of survival. One of the goon keeps calling him Pinky (due to her pink dress) and then she delivers the line - 'Mera naam Apurva hai' and smashes his head. I loved the movie especially how a bumbling idiot of an actor like Tara can become a good actor in a movie if you give her something to do. I remember she was in one of those Race 3 type of movies and now she is here doing action and throwing some shade at the goons. 

Why Not - It's a small movie but has great star cast of goons. In total there are not more than 10 characters in the movie. That may or may not make you like it. It's a thriller and you may not be in the mood for a thriller. 


THE ARCHIES - 2.0 Stars





Archies - Trailer

Directed by - Zoya Akhtar

Starring - Agastya Nanda, Khushi Kapoor, Suhana Khan. Vedang Raina, Mihir Ahuja, Aditi "Dot" Saigal, Yuvraj Menda

Why Watch it - In case you were the 0.00035% of Indian kids in 80s-90s who read Archies comics sure go ahead and give it a try. I had no clue what was going on until my wife told me what Jug head is and what Archies problem is in the comic. The movie is slow and is made like a comic book. The story does pick up a little bit in the middle but I don't think it had enough to be made into a movie.

Why Not - If I ask you what was your childhood comic and you say - Chacha Chaudhry, don't watch it. The problem is with the inception of the movie, Zoya was brought up rich in mumbai but she should be thinking what the heck Archies means to her audience? Every scene has this tinge of comic and trying to create a perfect scene by changing the Riverdale town into indian context, so much attention to detail for what? That script is not movie material! Plus she got all the Nepo babies to get some attention. I don't mind them but they don't have anything to work with. Agastya is good but Suhana and Khushi are just okay. After so many years Big Hindi movies called 'Bollywood' still remains a cottage industry with 10-20 families knitting their stuff. If you want quality go to Hindi movies and not just Bollywood.

 

DHAK DHAK - 3.5 STARS.






Dhak Dhak - Trailer

Directed by - Tarun Dudeja

Starring - Ratna Pathak Shah, Dia Mirza, Fatima Sana Shaikh, Sanjana Sanghi

Why Watch It - Another 'Girl Friends' movie. 3 women from different backgrounds and age group band together to go on a Bike ride to Leh. On the way they have lot of stories to tell us. Nice cute movie with quite a lot of different angles to each character. 

Why Not - It is predictable, lot of stories does not mean very creative and different way of telling those stories. Emotional high is never achieved, we don't get pulled into feeling deeply for a character. The depth is lacking, acting is ordinary too. 


WEB SERIES

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HASMUKH - 4.0 STARS. 





Hasmukh - Trailer

Genre - Crime/ Dark comedy

Directed by - Nikhil Gonsalves

Starring - Vir Das, Ranvir Shorey, Manoj Pahwa

Why Watch It - It is an old web series we watched now. Vir Das is a goo comedian and when he matches with Ranvir Shorey it is becomes double the fun. This series is a definition of dark comedy, brilliantly scripted and perfectly played especially by Ranvir Shorey! A comedian who can't muster courage to eclipse his mentor, who stutters in front of audience finds a way to become a fearless awesome funny comedian. The catch is - he needs to murder someone before every show! 

Why Not - It's an old series. It gets slow after the initial blast of creativity and they struggle to end it in a proper way. 

Saturday, October 7, 2023

Q3 - Big Wave of Good Movies!





PODCAST  - 

Podcast-review - Google / Samsung

Podcast-review - Apple


POPULAR BOLLYWOOD

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JAWAN - 2.5 STARS. PG. 





Podcast-review - Google / Samsung

Podcast-review - Apple




Jawan - Trailer

Directed by - Atlee

Starring - Shah Rukh Khan, Nayanthara, Vijay Sethupathi

Why Should I Watch it - 

Because that's what you deserve. Zero creativity, mashup of all South Indian movie masala (which is the same masala since 80s). You don't like to watch anything different than the same ol crap for last 30 years. Go for it! Well I assumed your age is 50, you can counter saying what if I am 20? I have not watched this over the top melodrama and stylish super hero. Maybe it is my first time. To that I will say - accept apologies of an old prick. 

What if I am a SRK fan? To that I will counter, then why is he pretending to be South Indian action hero or 80s hindi action hero? Why can't he do something he made his name on. That is making weird faces that are halfway between a smile and a cry and twist his eye brows into an S? To that you counter - what the heck are you talking about? 

Why not - 

Go against the current. Decide to become a human and have the courage to say - No. Take your first step towards spirituality. 


BLOODY DADDY - 4.0 Stars. PG.


 







Bloody Daddy - Trailer

Directed by - Ali Abbas Zafar

Starring - Shahid Kapoor, Ronit Roy, Rajeev Khandelwal, Sanjay Kapoor, Diana Penty

Why Should I Watch it - 

That's called an all out Action thriller. What a movie! Starcast is awesome everyone is at their Best. Shahid and Ronit are always reliable, but Sanjay Kapoor is awesome too!! yea you read it right. A cop messed up with gangsters and now he needs to get his son back. All in one night in one hotel during Covid times. 

Why Not - 

You don't like blood and stylish action? You don't like action? You enjoy songs in the movies and don't fast forward them. Then yes this one has almost no songs, except one. But that song is from Badshah - which I wish never happened. 


FUKREY 3 - 2.5 Stars. PG.









Fukrey 3 - Trailer

Directed by - Mrighdeep Singh Lamba

Starring - Pulkit Samrat, Varun Sharma, Manjot Singh, Richa Chadha, Pankaj Tripathi

Why Should I Watch it - 

If you are a fan like me, you need to watch it. I am in love with Chucha. So I went to theater to watch him. He does not disappoint and does every stupid idiotic thing that chucha should do. Deja Chu does not happen enough but then they do make hydro carbons because H for Hunny and C for Chucha. Chucha's piss and Hunny's sweat when combined makes petroleum. If this does not make you go and watch it, nothing will. 

Why Not - 

The makers decided to just use chucha's stupidity as the only plot for the movie. There is nothing else to keep the movie alive. Disappointing third part and hopefully the last. 


ROCKY AUR RANI KI PREM KAHANI - 4.5 STARS. PG.

Podcast-review - Google / Samsung

Podcast-review - Apple

Rocky aur Rani ki Prem Khaaani - Trailer

Directed by - Karan Johar

Starring - Dharmendra, Jaya Bachchan, Shabana Azmi, Ranveer Singh, Alia Bhatt

Why should I watch it - 

Remember NRI 90s movies that were tagged as Bollywood? yea Karan Johar is back! You crave a rich people love story? when did you last time see it? long time back. When did you actually laugh at a lead comic character? A mainstream masala movie with dollops of liberalism sprinkled all over - when did you last see that? When did you see every dialogue written so that you remember it forever? 

तो भाई खड़ा खड़ा मुँह  क्या देख रहा है. जा मूवी लगा वेब पे  आ गयी है! क्या? तू आलरेडी देख चूका है? चल ठीक है फिर आगे ब्लॉग पढ़ ले. 

Why not - 

To annoy me? Because you suddenly are pretending that you like small budget realistic cinema even though you have not watched any of the ones I have been begging every one to watch? Forget it man, who am I to convince you. 


JAILER - 1.5 STARS. PG. 

Jailer - Trailer

Directed by - Nelson Dilipkumar

Starring - Rajinikanth, Vinayakan, Ramya Krishnan, Vasanth Ravi

Why Should I Watch it - 

You are a Rajni fan? - Yes - Then you already watched it. 
                                 - No - You don't know about this movie and you never will. 

Why Not - 
Because I started and forgot to finish it.

DREAMGIRL 2 - 4.0 STARS. PG13

Dream Girl 2 - Trailer

Directed by - Raaj Shaandilyaa

Starring - Ayushman Khurana, Ananya Panday, Paresh Rawal, Annu Kapoor, Vijay Raaz

Why Should I Watch it - 

Every joke that is possible of a guy turning into a gal all have been used in this movie. You get all at one place. Every joke is delivered with a great comic timing by the great Ayushman Khurana. It felt stupid but we kept laughing. 

Why Not - 
'You have seen the Bollywood fetish of turning a guy into a gal and then creating joke routines. It is one long movie for one concept. 

ADIPURUSH - 3.0 STARS. G. 














Directed by - Om Raut
Starring - Prabhas, Kriti Sanon, Saif Ali Khan, Sunny Singh, Devdatta Nage

Why Should I Watch it - 

If you are in India and been indoctrinated into being a militant Hindu. You were the reason this movie was made. Your leaders bankrolled this movie because all movies should be made with Ramayan as theme. So you better watch it. Also, surprisingly I liked the movie, I have never understood the quality of CGI as a barometer for film's entertainment. Dude I grew up watching Manmohan Desai's CGI. So I don't know why people said CGI was bad. I loved the Ravana in the movie. All good scenes were his, and Saif absolutely enjoyed playing that character. Either the dialogues were redacted from the online version or I thought it was really cool that there were very few of them. I liked the silence of the movie, people hardly spoke because everyone knows Ramayan! You don't have to explain it. 

Why Not - 

Very tacky and darkish Ramayan this. Ram is very uninspiring. How can you not be nervous playing lord Ram and Sita? Both Prabhas and Kriti look very nervous moving any body part, what if people lynch them if they find something wrong in their actions?


SATYAPREM KI KATHA - 3.0 STARS. G.

Sathyaprem ki Katha - Trailer

Directed by - Sameer Vidwans
Starring - Kartik Aaryan, Kiara Advani

Why Should I Watch it - 

It is a good attempt to raise a few good issues in public interest. Challenging a few taboos of society. Good attempt for sure. The great Kiara Advani will emote and tug at your heart. Second half does pickup and get to the meat of the issue. 

Why Not - 

We all wait for Mr Kartik Aaryan to slowly figure how to act. Not yet, one day one day one day. Only industry in the world which gives you 10-20 years to figure how to do your job. The movie goes in circles like a pseudo activist without getting to the point. Once it gets to the point it does well. 

BAWAAL - 3.5 STARS. PG13. 








Bawaal - Trailer

Director - Nitesh Tiwari

Starring - Varun Dhawan, Janhvi Kapoor

Why Should I Watch it - 

An honest attempt in trying to weave a story around world war narrative. Pretty gutsy attempt to do something different when audience don't care about watching anything different. A good for nothing teacher visits world war 2 memorials to teach kids about it. The horrors of world war makes him forget his small little problems and his love life sprouts.

Why Not - 

You are allergic to depressing stuff. You are anyways not very robust individual and hanging by a thread and don't want to watch anything that disturbs you.


IB71 - 1.5 STARS. PG. 








IB71 - Trailer

Director - Sankalp Reddy

Starring - Vidyut Jammwal, Vishal Jethwa, Faizan Khan, Anupam Kher

Why Should I Watch it - 

If you are the BJP patriot who can't get enough of nationalism especially anything against Pakistan. Masquerading as a true story but taking so many liberties with truth that it looks outlandish even for movies. 

Why Not - 

It is not very entertaining.


BUDGET MOVIES
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JAANE JAAN - 5 STARS. PG-13

Jaane Jaan - Trailer

Directed by - Sujoy Ghosh

Starring - Kareena Kapoor Khan, Jaideep Ahlawat, Vijay Varma

Why Should I Watch it - 

Because it is the best thriller you will watch this year. Because Jaideep Ahlawat shows you how to get into a character and do magic. Because Kareena and Jaideep and Vijay Varma create an atmosphere that has never been created before. Because you have never seen a thriller, where you know everything but you are still stressed out. 

Why Not - 
Because you are a Jerk? Because it is a somewhat similar to Drishyam? Because you are used to crap?


NEEYAT - 2.0 STARS. PG13. 

Neeyat - Trailer

Directed by - Anu Menon

Starring - Vidya Balan, Ram Kapoor, Rahul Bose, Dipannita Sharma, Shashank Arora, Shahana Goswami, Neeraj Kabi, Amrita Puri, Danesh Razvi, Prajakta Koli

Why Should I Watch it - 

If you have not watched knives out. If you want to see bunch of people overacting trying to find the murderer. If you like bad copies of good movies. If you like to wait till the end for one final unique twist that answer your question - why Vidya Balan is acting so horribly. 

Why Not - 
See above. 


TIKKU WEDS SHERU - 2.5 STARS. G.









Tiku Weds Sheru - Trailer

Director - Sai Kabir

Starring - Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Avneet Kaur

Why Should I Watch it - 

Not a bad movie, but not a good one either. It starts with a lot of promise but loses steam somewhere in-between. Nawazuddin is always good and as a struggling actor who returns to his hometown to get married is a perfect role for him. It is pretty good time-pass.

Why Not - 

You probably have watched similar stuff before. It is a small budget ok cinema which is not a must watch.


FRIDAY NIGHT PLAN - 5 STARS. G. 

Friday Night Plan - Trailer

Directed by - Vatsal Neelakantan

Starring - Juhi Chawla, Babil Khan, Aadhya Anand, Ninad Kamat, Ria Chaudhary, Aditya Jain, Medha Rana

Why Should I Watch it - 

How many great 'teen' movies have you seen? especially in Hindi films? This is a great great teen movie, probably one of the best we have seen. 2 brothers are alone overnight as mom leaves for work. They grow up a little and understand each other and the love grows between the siblings as they fight their own internal demons as well as cool kids, partying and cops. 

Why not - 

oh... I only watch Hindi movies that are big name bad movies. So I can watch them and feel superior by trashing them as rehash of hollywood. 

oh .. I only like movies of my superstar, when he makes the same faces and has the same plot.. ahh the movies at their best. 


AFWAAH - 4.0 STARS. PG13.








Afwaah - Trailer

Directed by Sudhir Mishra

Produced by Anubhav Sinha

Starring - Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Bhumi Pednekar, Sumeet Vyas, Sharib Hashmi

Why Should I Watch it - 

You see the name 'Anubhav Sinha', then how can it be bad? Another social statement on how an idiot says something with no context to another idiot. The idiot picks it up and runs with it and soon entire country becomes an idiot. There is no difference between rumor and truth. 

Why Not - 

As soon as you see a intellectual movie you tune off. You start going off saying 'everything is great, everything is good'. 'Everyone who says anything is wrong is a traitor'. Then it's not for you. 


WEB SERIES

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GUNS & GULAABS - 4.5 STARS. PG13






Guns & Gulaabs - Trailer

Directed by - Raj & DK

Starring - Rajkummar Rao, Dulquer Salmaan, Adarsh Gourav, Gulshan Devaiah

Why Should I Watch it - 

Raj and DK are reliable names in entertainment productions, they hardly do anything wrong. Go goa gone, Unpaused, Farzi, Citadel and Family Man. Rajkummar Rao is perfect when he plays a 'fuddu' who gets caught up with underworld. Dulquer Salman has a complicated tough character and he does a great job of a cop who is not exactly righteous. The show belongs to the great Gulshan Devaiah who is having a lot of fun playing a fictitious character who almost has supernatural powers but in a realistic setup. It is just great fun to embed someone like that in a regular gangsta drama. Creativity at it's best. 

Why Not - 

Because web series are long? You don't like black comedies or too much creativity bothers you?


TRIAL - 2.0 STARS. PG13.




Trial - Trailer

Based on - The Good Wife by Robert King, Michelle King

Directed by - Suparn Verma

Starring - Kajol, Jisshu Sengupta, Kubbra Sait, Sheeba Chaddha, Alyy Khan, Gaurav Pandey

Why Should I Watch it - 

You are old and you still think Kajol is a great actor?

Why Not - 

It has everything that should be in a courtroom drama mixed with struggles of a wife with a high profile corrupt husband. But the show misses it's soul. It all looks forced and drawn. 


MADE IN HEAVEN-2 - 4.0 STARS. PG13.




Made in heaven - Trailer

Directed by - Nitya Mehra, Zoya Akhtar, Reema Kagti, Prashant Nair, Alankrita Shrivastava, Neeraj Ghaywan

Starring - Arjun Mathur, Sobhita Dhulipala, Kalki Koechlin, Jim Sarbh, Shashank Arora, Shivani Raghuvanshi, Mona Singh, Trinetra Haldar Gummaraju, Ishwak Singh

Why Should I Watch it - 

Arjun and Sobhita are great actors. They get a broad canvas to let their relationship thrive as friends and business partners in 'Made in Heaven' event management company. Every episode brings a new challenge with a new wedding to be planned. Along the way Zoya and Reema craft great but ultra liberal stories of relationships which are mostly entertaining and thought provoking. Another positive is an awesome Jim Sarbh and his divorce proceedings with Sobhita. Mona Singh knocks it out of the park with her personal issues slowly cooking in the background.

Why Not - 

Over the top sex scenes and drugs. You feel dizzy and dirty after watching the show. You thank your stars that you are not rich. Is this all to be rich? Mentally unstable and waiting to drop into drugs? The over the top LGBTQ masala in every story and every aspect of relationship is tiring. 


LUST STORIES 2 - 1.5 STARS. R.









Lust Stories 2 - Trailer

Directed by - R. Balki, Konkona Sen Sharma, Amit Ravindernath Sharma, Sujoy Ghosh

Starring - Kajol, Mrunal Thakur, Kumud Mishra, Angad Bedi, Amruta Subhash, Neena Gupta, Tamannaah Bhatia, Tillotama Shome, Vijay Varma

Why Should I Watch it - 

There is exactly 1.5 good stories among the 5-6 stories in this series. Find them and watch them. I am not going to help you figure.

Why Not - 

The directors confused 'Lust' with 'Expressing Sex'. Hardly any story is about Lust. An grandma is obsessed with finding the right Sex and lectures of importance of sex in relationship. SImilarly other stories are about something else except Lust. 

SAAS BAHU AUR FLAMINGO - 3.5 STARS. R. 









Saas Bahu Aur Flamingo - Trailer

Genre - Crime drama

Directed by - Homi Adajania

Starring - Dimple Kapadia, Radhika Madan, Isha Talwar, Deepak Dobriyal, Angira Dhar, Jimit Trivedi, Naseeruddin Shah

Why Should I Watch it - 

Dimple, Radhika, Isha are 3 reasons to watch. First time you will see cool stylish Women gangsta. It's apparent they had a lot of fun making this blood soaked all girls gangsta movie. Watch it for the uniqueness of the entire thing.

Why not - 

I always ask the South Indian movies - How much testosterone is too much testosterone? Then you can flip and ask - How much Estrogen is too much estrogen? This TV series after a point goes berserck with blood shed destruction. Dumb men destroying everything was not good enough? Now dumb women destroying everything too?



Sunday, September 3, 2023

Q2 2023 - Random small movies

POPULAR BOLLYWOOD

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GUMRAAH - 3.5 Stars. PG. 









Directed by - Vardhan Ketkar

Starring - Aditya Roy Kapur, Mrunal Thakur, Ronit Roy

The Story - Double role of Mr Aditya Roy Kapur. He has the looks, and so it was decided even if he plays a double role, both the people will have exactly same voice, face, hairstyle, facial hair, body type. Nothing changes this is not double role this is one guy changing clothes and mouthing lines. Well... actually that is a fact but you know in the story they are two seperate identical guys. Story is about a murder and one of the 2 have done it. Who is it?

The Characters - Aditya Roy Kapur is better than quite a lot of trash that are lead actors. Mrunal Thakur normally a great actor slips in this one. She is trying hard to be the tough cop, always having a very stand offish hard cop image in every scene which becomes stale. 

The Verdict - Not a bad movie, when you got no choice you might as well watch this one. Good time pass, but don't have high expectations. 


SELFIEE - 2.5 Stars. G.






Selfie - Trailer

Directed by - Raj Mehta

Starring - Akshay Kumar, Emraan Hashmi, Diana Penty, Nushrratt Bharuccha

The Story - A copy of a South Indian movie. A fan wants to take selfie of his favorite actor but things get complicated and they become friend-enemies. 

The Characters - Akshay kumar is doing his usual 'bad movie' acting. He is going through the motions trying to get another pay check, Emraan Hashmi looks like he put on some fake moustache and wig and you can't get over his bad dad look. 

The Verdict - If you ever start this one and finish it up, you will not talk about it, nor will you ever think about it. It is just that, a movie that happened and you will go back to washing dishes or whatever you need to do. 



BHEDIYA - 2.0 Stars. PG. 








Bhediya - Trailer

Directed by Amar Kaushik

Starring Varun Dhawan, Kriti Sanon, Abhishek Banerjee, Deepak Dobriyal, Paalin Kabak

The Story - A man converts into a Wolf. That's it.

The Characters - Varun Dhawan has decided that 'Badlapur' was a fluke. He is not an actor. He craves to become Govinda of his Dad's movies. Fair enough, one more actor gone. Kriti Sanon is also female Varun. She is bent on proving that 'Bareilly Ki Barfi' was a fluke. She wants to be the Superstar actress who comes in for a few songs and romantic angle in a big bollywood movie and make lots of money. Another actor gone.

The Verdict - A guy becomes a bhediya and that's it. Nothing else happens. Yes, there are a few jokes regarding that and Deepak Dobriyal and Abhishek Banerjee keep the movie from being a complete waste. The sidekicks keep the movie funny and engaging as Varun's friends. 


Mrs CHATTERJEE Vs NORWAY - 3.0 Stars.









Directed by - Ashima Chibber

Starring - Rani Mukerji, Anirban Bhattacharya, Neena Gupta, Jim Sarbh

The Story - Mrs Chatterjee goes to Norway to start her happy married life but the authorities deem them unfit parents and take their babies away. Mrs Chatterjee fights Norway. 

The Characters - Rani Mukherji like always puts in everything in the role of a mother who wants her kids back. Anirban does well as the husband who is stuck between making an off shore career and keeping his family together. Jim Sarbh is always good. 

The Verdict - The Norway authorities are bunch of really bad white actors that pulls the movie quality down. Also, the childish way they behave and the way they steal kids is very weird and doesn't look real. But whenever you say - based on true story, it basically means a lot of it is not true. Either way a pretty engaging affair and it is better than what you expect. 


SHEHZADA - 2.5 Stars. G.






Shehzada - Trailer

Directed by - Rohit Dhawan

Starring - Kartik Aaryan, Kriti Sanon, Paresh Rawal, Manisha Koirala

The Story - A typical rehash of Govinda style David Dhawan movies directed by a 'Dhawan'. Son of a servant goes into the the big kingdom of the rich people to find out he may be the right heir. 

The Characters - Karthik Aryan our new Salman non actor Super star is good for this kind of movie. He has to plaster his fake stupid smile and mouth dialogues that are meaningless. As is expected Kriti who has chosen to become a non actor superstar is perfect foil to look pretty and dumb in such movies. 

The Verdict - In case you liked those David Dhawan movies and still want to see similar stuff maybe you can give it a try.



BHOLAA - 2.0 Stars. PG








Bholaa - Trailer

Directed by - Ajay Devgn

Starring - Ajay Devgn, Tabu, Sanjay Mishra, Deepak Dobriyal, Gajraj Rao, Vineet Kumar

The Story - It is an Ajay Devgn film. A guy who believes in stupid spelling changes in english of a hindi word, yes this Devgn. Why do you think their is going to be a story? Anyways, Bhola is a tough guy out of Jail and going to rescue people before he meets his estranged daughter. Copy of some random South movie. 

The Characters - Ajay Devgn has this stash of money that he needs to use to make movies in his basement. I don't know what the compulsion is but who cares. He doesn't put in any effort in acting either, Tabu runs along to put her name to make it Ajay and Tabu are back. 

The Verdict - We need to start a petition to stop Ajay from making movies. Because it is a copy of a south movie it does have some twists and emotions, there you go. In case you really really wanted to watch and I was stopping you, I gave you something to look forward to.


BHEED - 3.5 Stars. PG





Bheed - Trailer

Directed by - Anubhav Sinha

Starring - Rajkummar Rao, Bhumi Pednekar, Dia Mirza, Ashutosh Rana, Pankaj Kapur, Kritika Kamra

The Story - A day in the life of a migrant. The greatest invisible division in human history is caste system. How one callous call for shutdown from Authorities make a huge difference to the lives of an entire section of people. Live one day of their lives as this movie does. 

The Characters - As long time readers of this Blog know, We love Anubhav Sinha. Whatever he does and whatever he makes is so topical, poignant and thought provoking. Rajkummar and Bhumi are great in their roles as the police officer and her girl friend plus nurse who are trying to stop migrants from going to their villages. Dia Mirza has an awesome cameo, pankaj kapur does a pankaj kapur. 

The Verdict - I am biased and I love this kind of social statements. If you got a liberal bone in you watch it, if not skip it. The movie is in black and white, depicting the partition type feeling of 1947 as India was seeing an unseen partition live. 



BUDGET MOVIES
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OPERATION MAYFAIR - 1 Star. G. 






Operation Mayfair - Trailer

Director - Sudipto Sarkar

Stars - Jimmy Shergill, Vedieka Dutt, Ankur Bhatia

The Story - You don't need to worry about it. 

The Characters - Jimmy Shergill used to be the darling of this blog and committee of one. Now Jimmy sadly has fallen onto bad times and doing movies with C grade actors. Let's keep the Jimmy that we loved in our thoughts and never watch this.

The Verdict - Don't watch it. The C grade actors trying to pass as London inhabitants will just kill you. Don't. 


FARAAZ - 3.5 Stars. R.





Faraaz - Trailer

Directed by - Hansal Mehta

Starring - Juhi Babbar, Aamir Ali, Aditya Rawal, Zahan Kapoor, Jatin Sarin, Pallak Lalwani, Reshham Sahaani

The Story - Faraaz is about a boy who was caught in a restaurant during a terrorist attack in Bangladesh. What happened that one night when terrorists took over. 

The Characters - None of the actors are known hindi movie actors, but they all do a great job. The guy playing Faraaz is good and rest of the cast make this a gripping affair.

The Verdict - The only reason you won't see it, you don't want to see a very real terrorist drama. It feels real and spine chilling. Very uncomfortable to watch and I don't think any of you will ever watch it. Anyways, I will let you know Faraaz was an every-man Hero.


WEB SERIES

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SCOOP - 3.5 Stars. PG 

Scoop - Trailer

Created by - Hansal Mehta, Mrunmayee Lagoo, Waikul

Based on Behind Bars in Byculla: My Days in Prison by Jigna Vora

Starring - Karishma Tanna, Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub, Prosenjit Chatterjee, Harman Baweja, Tannishtha Chatterjee, Deven Bhojani

The Story - Story of a reporter who covered big breaking news and found ways to get underworld news gets caught in her own success. How once a high profile reporter becomes sidelined and made a scapegoat once you lose contacts. A true story of a reporter during underworld days on 1980s. 

The Characters - Karisma Tanna puts everything she has into the role, a chance of a lifetime and she does full justice with it. Every side character has bought into the entire drama, Mohammad Zeeshan is outstanding playing the honest journalist. 

The Verdict - It looks like another drama in plethora of dramas on OTT, but this one is better than others. It stays true to the real life story, no hollywood-ish twists every few minutes to keep you engaged. Instead it gives time to each character to grow and develop in an effort to knit a beautiful real life story of a crime reporter.


NEVER HAVE I EVER - season 4 - 4.0 Stars. PG





Never Have I Ever - Trailer

Created by - Mindy Kaling, Lang Fisher

Starring - Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Poorna Jagannathan, Richa Moorjani, Jaren Lewison, Darren Barnet, John McEnroe, Ramona Young, Lee Rodriguez

The Story -  US teen dramas are the best, and this Indian-American one comes to an end with the high school graduation. 

The Characters - As informed before I love them all. 

The Verdict - Yes, it should not be reviewed but I just wanted to let you know my favorite TV show came to an end. This season I did cry once, when Devi's obsession to go to Princeton is psycho-analyzed back to her Dad's death. Aww... what a show. 


INDIAN MATCHMAKING - 3 - 0 Stars.








Indian Mathcmaking Season 3 - Trailer

Created by - Smriti Mundhra

Presented by - Sima Taparia


The Story - It started with a bang and ended with a whimper. Sima Aunty tries to match make Indian style.

The Characters - Finally Sima Aunty becomes unbearable to watch, mouthing same lines again and again. Pushing stupid dumb things that are Indian in our face and from funny it became tiring. 

The Verdict - Don't watch it. If you watched the first you watched them all. You cant tell the difference from one to the other. 


DAHAAD - 4.0 Stars. PG13





Dahaad - Trailer

Created by - Reema Kagti, Zoya Akhtar

Starring - Sonakshi Sinha, Gulshan Devaiah, Vijay Varma, Sohum Shah


The Story - A great cop drama. Cops try to be one step ahead of a serial killer to avoid more killings. Very standard serial killer plot done right.

The Characters - Easily the best work Sonakshi has ever done. Take a bow Sonakshi Sinha. Gulshan Devaiah and Vijay Varma all put in awesome performances. Sonakshi and Gulshan's Boss subordinate relationship is awesome. 

The Verdict - First time a serial killer is revealed in first episode and still you can't stop watching. It's not the identity it's the process of trapping him that is enthralling. It's not even the actual killing but the side stories and characters and their wholesome treatment and experiences that make it a great show.