These are Corona days. You know how it is, you walk from one room to other and you are done with your exercising. You feel lost and lonely in your home as if you are in TALAASH of something. You see the fridge and after a Little KABHI HAAN KABHI NAA you know exactly what you were looking for. Next you know you are eating ANDHADHUN, and guess what you were not even hungry!
You are staring at the laptop and yelling at yourself WAKE UP SID! but work can be done 24x7 from Home, its not just you, AMAR AKBAR ANTHONY all are working from home. Work in your Lockdown KAHAANI has become ARTICLE 15 in your to-do list. Let's face it your work is not as interesting as JAGGA JASOOS's, neither are you a DON of anywhere. When nothing looks urgent, nothing excites, don't be a DEV D BOSS, just slouch on a couch and stare at TV. In most days that will be a crime, you feel GUILTY, not anymore! daily News cycle has made you think KAL HO NA HO and reading every day new tricks of getting rid of virus from your grocery bag has become a FITOOR for you, and you are no BAAGHI, so be guilt free slouch on a couch with NETFLIX, it's no more a ONE NIGHT STAND but you can go on every night like this and no one will INKAAR you for it. Go ahead waste your life you are JODHA AKBAR of your life and I am here to help - Main Hoon Na.
If you have been living under a rock and has recently been introduced to Hindi movies maybe you have not even gotten a 'DANGAL' under your belt or you will have to pay a 'LAGAAN' for not watching it. Do yourself a favor Take the first CHENNAI EXPRESS you get and watch it (Dangal), actually it is a pretty good re-watch with your kids, especially if you got a daughter. and in case you don't have a daughter and you are the old style mard you can catch KABIR SINGH, actually Kabir should be in demand now that healthcare workers are our heroes, he is a oversexed, genius, alcoholic, foul mouthed, gunda-mawaali BUT a doctor. So yes, support all kind of doctors please. If you did not know about these movies, you definitely are into playing LUKA CHHUPI with hindi movies.
Some of you stopped watching hindi movies long time back saying they used to be good but now they don't know what happened but watching them feels like AGNEEPATH! I know what happened to you.... you got Old. Why don't you catch your definition of Bollywood and go HUM SAATH SAATH HAIN to a world that never was. Or if you want you can watch 100th time HAHK, make sure you close the door, in case your kids see what you actually enjoyed as a kid. You might think you are RAJA HINDUSTANI but they will definitely know you are a big ZERO. If you decide to watch Raja Hindustani, make sure you quarantine yourself for at least 3 days, because you will hum... pardesi, pardesi jana nahi...jana nahi for full 3 days. Look nothing in life comes without a cost, even if you are as cool as KAALIA or SHIVA your life will have KABHI KHUSHI KABHI GHAM.
If for some reason your DIL CHAHTA HAI that you want to torture yourself because you blame yourself for not maintaining the 6 feet social distancing rule when you pounced on that tomato before the Asian uncle can get to it, we have a few for you too, there is no bigger punishment to watch SAAHO and JAB HARRY MET SEJAL back to back.
In case you are diametrically opposite to the guy who is stuck in 90s Bollywood, GURU I got you covered I know you want DIL DHADAKNE DO or you want to dream of SKY IS PINK, and in your own DHRISHYAM you become a SECRET SUPERSTAR because you are so full of yourself you think of yourself as TAARE ZAMEEN PAR. Beware ... with big Bollywood leap comes big tears, these might give you a lump in your throat, so be ready with tissues .... no don't don't think about the virus be positive, wow you see LAAL RANG quick. I am talking about good ol tears while watching a movie.
I know what you are thinking, dude just because I don't like 90s Bollywood masala does not mean I love tear jerkers!! I hear you, we got a 'STREE' for you. Don't get me wrong not that kind of Stree, but an awesome lady who could be a ghost. If you like your lady to be a QUEEN, we got her for you but she is not the Queen of London, but she did leave SWADES and is living in London. Now that we are talking about girls, you might as well go for a PADMAN, and if you don't like me pushing you into social causes then just go with hilarious and appetizing "BAREILLY KI BARFI'. Talking of funny, all movies have ANDAZ APNA APNA, some are NAMAK HALAAL and some have GOLMAAL going and other come at you CHUPKE CHUPKE.
If you are awesome like me you are like 'OH MY GOD' I have seen them all!! How about go for love by calculation in LOVE PER SQUARE FOOT, and if that makes your DHARAM SANKET MEIN. I would say ask HAMID, MICHAEL, BHOURI and HAIDER to give you a reality check. If you don't I am going to complain to AJJI that you are stubborn and is acting like 3 IDIOTS, that will be GAME OVER for you.
If you want to watch none of these, I would ask you what the heck is your LAKSHYA? Remember you have to forget all MOH MAYA MONEY and only focus on lockdown and how to waste time. You can't fly to UDTA PUNJAB or to RANGOON, you can't even visit your neighbors KAPOOR AND SONS! All you can do is - Pick some CHOPSTICKS, eat LITTLE THINGS, play SACRED GAMES, or a game of SATTE PE SATTA and PK relax.
