PODCAST THIS YEAR - A-TO-ZED BOLLYWOOD MOVIE REVIEW
- Dhurandhar - 2 (Hate Must Continue)
- O Romeo - pretending to be a Vishal Bhardwaj Movie
- Mardaani & 120 Bahadur - A taut thriller & A respectable war movie
- Border 2 - Is it 2 or 1?
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2122382
BOLLYWOOD
BORDER - 2 - 2.75 Stars. PG.
Directed by Anurag Singh
Starring Sunny Deol, Varun Dhawan, Diljit Dosanjh, Ahan Shetty, Mona Singh, Sonam Bajwa, Medha Rana
Stupidity has taken over the world. Hyper nationalism has replaced any sense of compassion. Business men are cashing on whatever latest stupidity people are into. So they make another Border, this one is called Border-2, but it could just have been called Border-1, there is hardly any difference from the original. Same music, same scenes, same yelling and screaming... well that one according to the times have been increased a few decibels.
I am concerned for Sunny, he yells the entire movie like a crazy old man, which he is I understand. But his yelling has gone to the levels where we need to get him checked if he is losing his hearing abilities.
Varun Dhawan is as annoying as he has been lately in anything he does. His dialogue that is highlighted as the dialogue of the movie in the trailer should be so obnoxious to any 'real' hindu, but thank god their are not many left in India. 'hum pooja bhale hi ram ki karte hein, par tewar parshuram ke rakhte hein'. Wow .. you think that is not an insult to your Ram? But thankfully for Varun no one understands their own religion they just check with Whatsapp.
Diljit is the only good thing in the movie, but he and Ahan Shetty get only 15 mins to fight Pakistan as the lion's share of fighting is taken in last 45 minutes by Sunny and Varun. With their fighting they take the movie down into a long unending climax trying to fighting with Pakistan as we fight with boredom.
DHURANDHAR -2 - 0 Stars. (W/o a watch)
Directed by Aditya Dhar
Starring Ranveer Singh, Arjun Rampal, Sanjay Dutt, R. Madhavan, Sara Arjun, Rakesh Bedi, Gaurav Gera, Danish Pandor
After I had to sit through the first part, I was bracing for the 4 hour headache in the second one. Thanks to bunch of hyper Indian people who decided to watch the movie. People are watching the movie for the sake of checking the box that they did as all Indians should. The viral craze, or whatever the latest craze is called is upon us and hence it is a duty of every Indian to see it. This helped me escape this hell as the reason I watch any movie, the person because of who I watch anything was taken away happily by these women to watch this hyper nationalist, 'Mera Dictator Mahaan' movie.
It is hilarious to see people get their general knowledge from a movie that panders to the powerful. It is also interesting to see people question me on why I did not watch one movie when they don't watch the 125 I watch in a year. Once they figure I did not watch it, it's nice to see them describe why they like the movie and struggle articulating it even when you have not asked them anything. People really don't want to say why they enjoy minority hating movies, nor did Germans in 1940s.
O ROMEO - 1.5 Stars. PG13.
Directed by Vishal Bhardwaj
Story by Hussain Zaidi
Starring Shahid Kapoor, Triptii Dimri, Nana Patekar, Avinash Tiwary, Tamannaah Bhatia, Disha Patani, Farida Jalal, Aruna Irani
Another one bites the dust. The great Vishal Bhardwaj delivers the dud he was due. The movie pretends to be a Vishal movie but is not. He had probably too many constraints to make the movie, weirdest of weird things happen in name of love. If I try to unpack everything it might become a 5000 word essay. If anyone else made this, it might score more, but this is Vishal and hence it should have been better.
Shahid who overacts the entire movie, everything from his tattoos to his body language and stupidity of the character is out of control. He is a 1990s underworld guy but acts like he is in a college skit where acting bad is the whole point.
Tripti does her thing, she is definitely a good actor, but she has decided to make money by doing these shitty roles that look like her cringy role in Animal. Won't fault her on making money when everyone else is in the same pursuit of Capitalism.
Make sure you do see the movie to just understand the country called Spain, where there is no law and order and Jalaal is the King of Spain who kills people and bulls alike inside a ring with Spaniards (are they called that?) clapping and cheering for him. They also have an obsession of wearing masks and dancing randomly everywhere.
MARDAANI 3 - 4.5 Stars. PG.
Directed by - Abhiraj Minawala
Starring - Rani Mukerji, Janki Bodiwala, Mallika Prasad, Prajesh Kashyap
A perfect taut thriller. This is how you make a thriller. This is how you act like a superstar cop, all the 90s young people need to apologize to Rani to not understand the greatness this actor had in her. We thought she was just poor man's Kajol! Sorry Rani!
The movie doesn't let you breath or pauses for a break. Runs smooth and nice at a good pace, Rani delivering some good lines, the Villain and Hero go back and forth and all the things that make a popular cinema are put in the right doses to make this Dosa. Okay that was a bad analogy, but come on I have less time and need to get this edition out the door.
The only downer for me was, they took the oft repeated track of girl's being trafficked and abused. Come on guys leave them alone. If you don't have hyper nationalism, and thank god this had none of it but why go directly into some sexual abuse angles. But still do your self a favor and watch it.
IKKIS - 2.5 Stars. PG.
Directed by Sriram Raghavan
Starring Agastya Nanda, Dharmendra, Jaideep Ahlawat, Simar Bhatia
Dharam papaji's last movie, but he should never have done it. He looks very old and ill, it was disturbing to watch him struggle through the movie. Should have never been done, but they did it. Agastya Nanda, does okay in his second movie as a soldier. At least this movie is not about hate and war, it is about War and Peace. They tried something different, so kudos to them.
A young soldier goes to war and to his death, later the father goes to Pakistan to visit the sight where he died. Pretty simple, but too exaggerated and over the top story. Jaideep takes him around Pakistan and shower him with too much love and affection that made little sense. An okay affair with heart in the right place.
SUBEDAAR - 3.0 Stars. PG.
Directed by - Suresh Triveni
Starring - Anil Kapoor, Radhika Madan, Khushbu Sundar, Saurabh Shukla, Aditya Rawal, Mona Singh, Faisal Malik
Feels like a Wild Wild West inspired desi version. Anil Kapoor broods and broods a little too much. Still he shows how good an actor he is, he does nothing but brood and still manages to stress you out. His puny figure and old age belies the heavy lift he does on the fight front. They should have found another younger actor or the action should have been limited to somewhat more manageable level. But either way the movie though slow in pace does engage and keeps you entertained.
It is a simple story of mafia in small town running into a righteous, damaged, grieving ex-soldier. He has a daughter who also does not take any BS, together they go on a Father-daughter action extravaganza. Good thing is even though Radhika is a girl, thankfully Bollywood doesn't see her just as a female body and she could just have been a Son and plot could have remained the same.
KENNEDY - 0 Stars. R.
Directed by - Anurag Kashyap
Starring - Rahul Bhat, Sunny Leone, Mohit Takalkar
It is exactly not a 0 star, but I gave it a Zero, because it is much touted Anurag Kashyap film. I was excited about it, all that publicity how great this movie is turned out to be just that, a publicity stunt. I also paid $17 for a monthly Zee5 subscription and that added to the Zero rating. It is one of the weaker movies of Mr Kashyap, made in the pandemic it is trying to act like an Anurag movie with dark shades and an obvious underworld killer storyline. The problem is with all the craziness and killing going on, there is no central theme to the movie. The movie is made for the sake of being cool, but it doesn't have a soul.
This new guy (Rahul Bhat) keeps talking in depressed low tone gruff voice and it is supposed to be some great acting job he did. He is a professional killer and somehow we are supposed to feel bad for this crazy, psychologically damaged, lunatic? You know we have many in real life running the world, we need to get rid of them not feel sorry for them if we want to survive as humans. Sunny Leone is recruited to keep laughing hysterically and it is supposed to be this haunting laughter through out the movie, instead the movie haunts you later as you wonder what the heck was that?
JAB KHULI KITAAB - 3.0 Stars. G.
Directed by - Saurabh Shukla
Starring - Pankaj Kapur, Dimple Kapadia, Aparshakti Khurana
Dimple is grandma who is dying, all the kids and extended family join in waiting for the death, this is premise of lot of great British and small European movies, they all generally turn out to be good movies. But Indian movies can never pull it off, though a few have. This one gets confused pretty quickly as Dimple rises from the dead and decides to divulge her biggest secret to her husband Pankaj Kapur, who acts the same in every movie and somehow gives an impression that he himself thinks very highly of himself. The husband needs a divorce from a dying wife and then you are excited to think, ahh... this might be a comedy, but alas after a few comic scenes, film gets completed confusing as they try to 'cook' a biryani putting every emotion and relationship angle possible into the movie.
It is not a bad attempt, but it is too spicy and flavorful just like all those bottomless biryanis you get in restaurants. I can never finish them and they are not as good as advertised.
120 BAHADUR - 3.0 Stars. PG13.
Directed by - Razneesh 'Razy' Ghai
Starring - Farhan Akhtar, Raashii Khanna, Vivan Bhatena, Ankit Siwach
The pressure is so strong to make anything nationalistic that even Farhan fell for it. But you can't completely change your personality, he still ends up making a decent war movie that explains how war affects everyone, how courage works and how it is sad. He also does unthinkable, make a movie about a loss, a China-India war movie. No chest thumping, no stupid insulting dialogues, and explains that even if collectively Indians think if the war was a 'loss' and hence it should be embarrassing, it is not. There can still be stories of courage to be told.
Story is a simple one, of bunch of 'bahadurs' who fought gallantly to keep Chinese off for a night until ceasefire was called. Well done, obviously it should not succeed as it doesn't cut the 'cut throat' stupidity that goes for war movies nowadays.
TERE ISHQ MEIN - 1.5 Stars. PG13.
Directed by - Aanand L. Rai
Starring - Dhanush, Kriti Sanon
What the heck was that? What we just saw? Where do we start? Should we dare to start? Ye kya ho raha hai... kyu? kaise? All these emotions are bound to come and sprout from every nerve of your nervous system. I will try to explain.
The thought was - boss, you know this crazy love formula always works, it has worked before.
Okay, so what do we do this time?
Just up it... more people crazy and everyone crazy. Everyone randomly talking about being crazy in love. Every scene randomly devolving into mmmm... let's say - CRAZY. just pyaar mein paagal types... right?
Yes, let's do it.
Last time we had college scenes? okay let's do crazy in love college students...
hmm.. our hero has aged.
No problem we also make him a fighter pilot.
What? but we thought it was crazy love, ...
yea the pilot is crazy pilot and he became this crazy pilot who will destroy... ummmm... yea.. Pakistan! yea.. that is flavor of the country. Let's make a nationalistic movie!
But saar.. didn't you say it was crazy love story?
Yea.. obviously.. the guy is crazy jilted lover who because of the 'jilt' became pilot and killed all Pakistanis and also he doesn't listen to his own seniors.. because you know he is crazy.
What about the girl?
ummm.. She is crazy too... Kriti won't do a film if only Dhanush is crazy, so let's make her crazy too. She will jilt the lover but she will still remain confused whether she was jilted or is she the jilted but she also time to time loves him but also hates him.
SO she will marry other random nice person in the movie.
Ohh .. so one guy will be nice?
Yes, one guy in the entire movie will be nice and he will look all confused all the time, because you know ...... everyone else is crazy? Got it?
ummm.. okay. Let's do it.
SINGLE SALMA - 2.5 Stars. PG.
Directed by - Nachiket Samant
Starring - Huma Qureshi, Sunny Singh, Shreyas Talpade
Huma generally signs good movies, but lately she has been doing things that don't fit her. Obviously she should do things that are different, so nothing against that. This one is a cute little movie to make us feel good with Salma's liberalization story. A self made woman trying to figure the world with humble beginnings from a small town (Kanpur) and balance all the 'responsibilities' of taking care at home. But somewhere in the story we lose respect for Salma herself!
This liberal story is all but an advertisement of any liberal values, though the maker wants it to be a liberal story but you start hating yourself to be a liberal as the movie goes on! Huma has a shifting love problem, she is seeing new locales and countries, new ideas and then her priorities are shifting, which at the surface seems fine but the way she handles them is kind of eeew!
Sunny Singh is British born Indian, or so are we to believe with zero effort put in to make him look or talk like that. Instead he is British because he is there to advertise the open relationship to everyone watching the movie. Huma who has principles, starts to lose all values because she starts getting liberal and am like.. no no no.. don't do that! At the end I was like... umm I hope I am not liberal! What's going on?
TANVI THE GREAT - 2.5 Stars. G.
Directed by - Anupam Kher
Starring - Anupam Kher, Shubhangi Dutt, Aravind Swamy, Iain Glen, Boman Irani, Jackie Shroff, Pallavi Joshi
Anupam Kher probably rules the government funding for Film development as he is on the right side of the 'right' government we have. So, he creates and acts in this movie which is about Tanvi an autistic girl who wants to join the Army. She come to Anupam Kher's army town and makes his life go topsy turvy and along the way teaches everyone a few things about life.
If I told you there is a Hindi movie on autism you would have guessed how it will look like and that is exactly how it looks like. Bollywood is melodramatic and they can't help it. Tanvi also has a dad who died on duty, the grandpa hasn't come out of that loss etc etc... Well for all the Aravind Swamy fans (of Roja fame), and all the Jackie dada fans... this movie is a reunion of all the random oldies. They threw in a Boman Irani and Pallavi Joshi too.
JUGNUMA - 1.5 Stars. PG.
Directed by - Raam Reddy
Starring - Manoj Bajpayee, Priyanka Bose, Tillotama Shome, Deepak Dobriyal
I used to pride myself on these artsy movies, I had this secret pride in me that I understand the "Art" and no one else does, until I hit Jugnuma!
Now I am the same regular stupid folks who say - What the heck man, give me a nice little dumb story I don't want to figure out what this movie is about and why this movie is made in the first place?
Why o lord Manoj Bajpayee is a Jugnu!! come on man... I am sorry I did not get this one. The camera work was so Artsy that we can hardly see anything half the screen is dark! They shot at night without any light to be authentic I guess!
I take back all my 'judgy' behavior when I used to laugh at a scene in a car which has a light on while the car is driving just so we can see what is happening inside the car. I take it back, it's okay to leave a light on, it should be called creative liberty please!
Why is Deepak Dobriyal normally a very accomplished actor talking in this weird tone narrating the entire story as if it happened in the past but is also in the movie with regular voice?? Was he the Jugnu himself?? I am sorry, this movie killed all my self respect regarding all this art stuff.
WEB SERIES
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MRS DESHPANDE - 3.0 Stars. PG.
Genre - Crime thriller
Directed by - Nagesh Kukunoor
Starring - Madhuri Dixit, Siddharth Chandekar, Priyanshu Chatterjee, Diksha Juneja
Another come back of Madhuri. Superstars like Kajol and Madhuri keep finding a way to have come backs. The web series is pretty engaging, its kind of cat and mouse game between serial killer and the ex-serial killer. The student vs the teacher etc etc...
The web series is well made and things do flow pretty fast with some twists and turns but you can't help wonder how better it would have been without Madhuri trying to be the larger than life superstar in a web series. A web series by definition is not a blockbuster Bollywood movie... right?
But Madhuri still wants to have this central character around whom everything runs, this in turn drags this otherwise good story into trying to portray how smart and cunning, but still motherly, but also cold blooded killer she is.
The Mr Bajaj syndrome (Andaz Apna Apna).... hazaaron murgiyon ke lakho ande... ande ke liye bread bhi mein hi dunga... I will do everything, all emotions. If that is not enough.
She also wants to look young and perfect and it shows. The face looks unnatural and plastic. Come on ... I know it sucks to get old, though I was never awesome looking guy but still I understand it sucks I understand it Madhuri I do, but embrace it and then go and act! Though to be fair it must hit differently when you go from being called the most beautiful girl on planet to an old okay looking women VS my problem of being below average Indian skinny no style guy --- to---- Indian balding uncle looking for glasses to look at his Facebook page version.
HELLO BACHHON - 3.5 Stars. G.
Genre - Biographical / Drama
Directed by - Pratish Mehta
Starring - Viineet Kumar Singh, Vikram Kochhar, Girija Oak
Plethora of web series are about Kota factory and entrance exams, partly because - the people making these shows have lived their reality of entrance exams and gone into engineering only to realize they wanted to make shows and partly because - a chunk of middle class India is all about entrance exams.
This is a good one, it focusses more on the teacher than the student. Supposedly a true story of the 'Physics wala' guy who focused on underprivileged kids and tried to keep his coaching classes inclusive even though the obvious market forces threatened him to give up. Every episode bring a new story about a kid who is fighting his own battle to get through an entrance exam.
None of these shows have graduated to the point of saying, yea people go crazy for competing but most never get any value from that, they don't get admission or any other thing. They just waste those stressful years but then move on to keep living a pretty normal life. THAT needs to be communicated to all Indians, just because you got through one hurdle does not mean all others who failed at that have a lesser life than you. Actually they might have ended up having more fruitful life!
ACCUSED - 2.0 Stars. G.
Directed by - Anubhuti Kashyap
Starring - Konkona Sen Sharma, Pratibha Ranta
Anubhuti Kashyap has a big last name but has not delivered a lot of great directorial efforts. This one involved Konkana so you go into with some expectations only to be completely underwhelmed by it.
Why Gay? - A forced gay angle, none of them look very much into each other. Why England? - for no reason a successful surgeon's story is in England, no reason except probably ease of shooting a web series in London?
Sorry just feels all very forced the entire story and everyone in it. Problem with shows shot with foreign cast is the 'white people' in these show are really really bad, I don't know where they get it from but every show with a 'white cast' is from the same company called - 'Overacting white people corporation.'
KOHRRA - 2 - 4.5 Stars. PG.
Genre Crime thriller
Directed by Randeep Jha , Sudip Sharma , Faisal Rahman
Starring Barun Sobti, Suvinder Vicky, Mona Singh, Rachel Shelley, Harleen Sethi, Manish Chaudhari, Saurav Khurana, Vishal Handa
Please watch it in Punjabi (If you understand a little bit of Punjabi). This is originally a Punjabi show, and each one of them are good at it and it makes a huge difference. This is season 2, the first one as awesome with the Sardarji guy (Sarvinder pal?) cop making you sit up and take notice.
This one has Mona Singh, and what an actor this woman is! OMG! Barun Sobti is the common factor and fits perfectly by Mona Singh's side. Both of them just take you effortlessly through this ride, you are with them pulling for them depressed and exhausted but hopeful. The entire mood of the show is "Kohra" you can feel your mind and heart clouded. Barun and Mona emote with their subtle body language and tired wrinkled faces. The stress at home and the the passion at work even if no one cares. As I always say when someone takes a show and leaves an imprint Mona Singh did her version of Bachhan-esque performance.
TASKAREE - 4.0 Stars. G.
Genre - Crime Thriller
Directed by - Neeraj Pandey, Raghav M Jairath, B. A. Fida
Starring - Emraan Hashmi, Sharad Kelkar, Nandish Sandhu, Anurag Sinha, Amruta Khanvilkar, Zoya Afroz
Easily the most fun show you have seen in a while. You know how you call something completely 'time pass', this is total time pass. You have never seen a show about custom officers and so this is fresh and fun and thrilling. Neeraj Pandey is a reliable name and once he is directing something generally it works.
Bunch of Custom officers decide to not be corrupt for a change and it takes them on a roller coaster ride through the world of crime. The show is pretty straight forward they clearly define it as a fun roller coaster, no kohra or deeper meaning. Just a thriller.
SINGLE PAPA - 4.0 Stars. G.
Genre - Comedy drama
Created by - Neeraj Udhwani, Ishita Moitra
Directed by - Shashank Khaitan, Hitesh Kewalya, Neeraj Udhwani
Starring - Kunal Khemu, Prajakta Koli, Manoj Pahwa, Ayesha Raza Mishra
This got released last year but somehow fell through the cracks of this blogger's air tight ways of figuring out what to review! shocking! But even the best systems fail in the world like UN and NATO!
Kunal Khemu has easily become the most reliable comic creator of recent times, with Single Papa he has takes a step forward by creating an wholesome entertainer which give you a tear and chokes your throat along with a few laughs. Very cute lovable story about a single guy who just wants to be "papa" and hence goes on to prove that he can adopt and be a dad without needing a "girl" in her life.
DALDAL - 2.0 Stars. PG.
Genre - Psychological Crime thriller
Created by - Suresh Triveni
Directed by - Amrit Raj Gupta
Starring - Bhumi Pednekar, Aditya Rawal, Sandeep Kulkarni, Samara Tijori
Bhumi saw all these cop shows and decided I want to do one of those brooding depressed cops. The problem is - she also wants to be stylish, sexy and still brooding and depressed. Daldal falls flat to create a daldal, it is forced pretends to be the 'Kohra' that they are trying to create. When you look at other shows and decided to make 'similar' you end up with a daldal.
