2017 Q4 (October, November, December) Top Performers -
Lucknow Central- 3.0 Stars. NETFLIX. - Band छोड़ Jail तोड़।
Lucknow Central - Trailer
Director - Ranjit Tiwari
Actors - Farhan Akhtar, Diana Penty, Ronit Roy.
Blue Mountains - 0 Stars. G. - यह क्या था? कौन सा माउंटेन?
Blue Mountains - Trailer
Anarkali of Aarah - trailer
Director - Avinash Das.
Actors - Swara Bhaskar, Sanjay Mishra.
Newton - Trailer
Best Actors (Male) -
- Rajkummar Rao (Bareilly Ki Barfi).
- Rajkummar Rao (Newton)
- Ranbir Kapoor (Jagga Jasoos)
- Vikrant Massey (Death in the Gunj)
- Pankuj Tripathi (Bareilly Ki Barfi, and all the movies in this Blog)
Best Actors (Female) -
- Kriti Sanon (Bareilly Ki Barfi)
- Swara Bhaskar (Anarkali of Aarah)
- Aditi Rao Hyderi(Bhoomi)
- Deena Pathak (Lipstick under my Burkha)
Best Director -
- Ashwiny Iyer Tiwari (Bareilly Ki Barfi)
- Alankrtia Shrivastava (Lipstick under my Burkha)
- Konkana Sen Sharma (Death in the Gunk)
- Avinash Das (Anarkali of Aarah)
- Amit Masurkar (Newton)
- Anurag Basu (Jagga Jasoos)
Worst of the Quarter -
- Himesh (Kajraare)
- Abbas Mastan (Machine)
- Milan Luthria (Baadshaho)
- Mubarakan - 2.5 Stars. NETFLIX. (G - Kids may enjoy) - Mubarak Ho! For creating another formulaic comedy with nothing new.
Director - Anees Bazmi
Actors - Arjun Kapoor, Anil Kapoor, Illeana D Cruz.
If you are used to regular Hindi comedy movies, then watch it. It has all the ingredients, people acting like cartoons, being loud in order to be funny, story that is silly and jokes for 8 Year olds. Arjun Kapoor who is fast becoming the worst actor in Bollywood, is playing 2 brothers who have no difference due to lack of acting talent. They act exactly the same except for one has a turban and other does not. Both want to marry their sweet hearts and some how mix ups happen due to over bearing families. A loud Anil Kapoor is the uncle trying to get everything to work out. Well similar ones from this director have been made before and if you like ones before this one, go and watch this one too, this won't disappoint. It is an ok time pass.
- Kajraare - 1.0 Stars. (G) NETFLIX. - Worst 'knight' ever, who saves a girl in distress.
Actors - Himesh Reshammiya, Sarah Loren.
One of the old movies which surfaced on Netflix. The time when Himesh was hell bent on being a 'Hero' a 'Star'. Not an actor but a 'Hero'. He has this childhood fantasy of a Hero, who is brooding, cool, saving a pretty girl, falling in love, but has a lot of stress of the past etc etc. And like a child who fantasizes becoming a hero in his own mind he wants to do it too. Problem is - he has means to try and recreate in actual films and put us through the misery. Well ... I am not complaining, we have arranged Himesh parties just to watch his bad movies.
The movie is about a guy who has oh.. so painful past and needs to live under cover with a different name. Then he falls in love and he throws all caution to the wind and wants to save the girl from a brothel. Every kind of masala he has ever seen in 80s he put it in effect. Obviously to no effect. I watched it so you don't have to.
- Beimaan Love -2.0 Stars. R. - A Sunny Leone Movie.
Director - Rajeev Chaudhari
Actors - Rajneesh Duggal, Sunny Leone.
This is a Sunny Leone movie and like a Rajni, Chiranjeevi, Salman movies you know what you will get. It is commendable how Sunny movies are a thing of it's own. This movie has obvious dose of 'stuff' along with being a thriller and a drama. It is basically a revenge drama / thriller. Sunny has been wronged by a guy and now she is out to get revenge or something like that. Actually none of her movies are really bad, they are pretty entertaining. So go give it a try.
- One Night Stand- 2.5 Stars. R - A stand that won't end.
Director - Jasmine D Souza.
Actors - Sunny Leone, Tanuj Virwani.
Actually if you want to try one of the Sunny Leone movie, may be you should try this one. This has a little 'stress' along with thriller and 'stuff' aspect of the movie. Only if Sunny learns how to act these movies can be a 'thing'. This movie is about... yes you guessed it right 'One Night Stand'. But this one night stand does not end, I am pretty sure most one night stands don't end in one night, though for the record I will clarify I have no knowledge on the subject.
One person in the relation gets obsessed and now that person knows where you live, and they may create a lot of stress. Ending is pretty good too. Not a bad movie at all.
Lucknow Central - Trailer
Director - Ranjit Tiwari
Actors - Farhan Akhtar, Diana Penty, Ronit Roy.
2 movies with same story line were released at the same time, that pretty much means they both were copied from another foreign language film, and both wanted to copy it. Anyway this one is bigger budget one so we chose to see this one.
Farhan Akhtar plays a man who has a dream of making a band but instead ends up in jail. Now he can either make a band, or try breaking the Jail, or do both! He finds partners in jail and some fun ensues, there are thrilling plans and Jail gangs etc. Actually the movie is not well made though the story line was pretty effective. Farhan is not fit for the character either. But one person makes this movie watchable - the villain Jailor - Ronit Roy. One of the favorites of this blog. The guy evokes terror and he can be clumsy and funny when he wants to be. What an actor!
Blue Mountains - 0 Stars. G. - यह क्या था? कौन सा माउंटेन?
Blue Mountains - Trailer
Director - Suman Ganguli
Actors - Lamira Faro, Vaibhav Hanshu
Sorry, I should not be reviewing a movie that I never completed. But it rare for us to not complete one either. The movie looked as if it was shot from a 80s camera, kids are hanging out with friends and then one kid wants to become a singer and get selected for a talent show. There are parents who oppose his dreams because of some obvious past demons. Mom used to be a singer etc etc. But the movie was so uninspiring and may be we were tired we decided this pain can be skipped. I am sure the movie would have picked up, so in case Ranvir Shorey is reading this I am really sorry buddy, this is the first movie of yours that I didn't finish.
Machine - 3.0 Stars. G. (YouTube) - Abbas Mastan decide to get old.
Director - Abbas, Mastaan
Actors - Mustafa Burmawalla, Kiara Advani.
How about a law - No One is allowed to launch their kid. I know there has been some successes, but after this movie the rule is needed. Abbas Mastan decide to launch their kid, I mean I know Abbas Mastan are not a couple but this kid is one of their kids and I really don't care who's he is.The movie is not kid's fault, the movie is made from the lens of Abbas Mastan thinking how young people must be living and thinking. The movie reeks of their 90s sets and movie is about fast cars, deceit, twists and more twists. Somehow the entire thing is so tacky that it is bad. The story itself is not that bad, like all thrillers they used to make, it has many twists a La Race.
In fact I changed my mind, I think you should watch it for the entertainment. You will not be disappointed either you will get interested in the complex dumb story or you will be laughing at the tackiness. It starts off as a college love story that has a crazy lover angle which ends up in a murder. Then the movie shifts to foreign locales and it becomes a billionaire tycoon being taken over by crooks by tricking him the way only Abbas Mastan film can show case. Later things change to Son- Dad story and many more. Go watch it. Make sure you don't spend money to watch it though.
- Anarkali of Aarah - 3.5 Stars. PG13. (NETFLIX) - Smart phones usher in social justice
Anarkali of Aarah - trailer
Director - Avinash Das.
Actors - Swara Bhaskar, Sanjay Mishra.
Well made movie about a girl who takes on the world. She has an attitude and does things with aplomb but the world is Anti-Women. She is an entertainer and gets involved with local goon + politician. A thriller, which flows fast and furious with lot of drama and real world problems all in meshed into a beautiful story. It sounds serious but it is not, it is typical Bollywood movie with plenty of masala. Good Vs Bad thriller. The girl is pretty good actor and she is almost in every frame, also there is Mr Sanjay 'Great' Mishra, more on him later. More of such films are needed. Go Watch it.
- Baadshaho - 2.0 Stars. PG. (NETFLIX) - Thriller Extravaganza has everything but still nothing works.
Director - Milan Luthria
Actors - Ajay Devgan, Illeana D Cruz, Emraan Hashmi, Vidyut Jamal.
As I watch the trailer I wonder, did I see this movie? The trailer is well done, and seems like a great thriller but it is not. Ajay Devgan and Milan Luthria have lost it. Mr Milan Luthria used to make similar thrillers few decades before, things change but directors think they can just do it again! without changing anything... well I can't blame them, they see lot of people doing it. Anyway, just like Abbas Mastan, this movie declares Mr Milan Luthria getting old fast. If you watch it note Mr Vidyut Jamal's presence! this is the commando guy! He is good.
The movie is based in Rajasthan and setup during emergency and showing Sanjay Gandhi wanting to get all the treasure of a royal family. Now either you make a movie with some political statement or don't. This movie had no business making one character to resemble Sanjay Gandhi and then never get back to reality, probably that's why it never got released ... I don't know. Everyone's fake Rajasthani accent led by Ajay Devgan shows how much effort is put in making characters authentic. The thriller itself has everything, a great plot and lot of action. But the movie looks dated, it was a good thriller when Mr Milan was young, but no more. Even dependable Emraan Hashmi can't get us to laugh. The movie is going at a furious pace with jail breaks, time bound mission impossibles, and high voltage drama with Illeana and Esha looking damsel in distress and a surprise ending. But on your end you are sitting on your couch pausing the movie to check how much of it is left. So, I conclude if the movie was edited into half it would have earned one more star.
- Golmaal Again - 0 Stars. G. - National Embarrassment continues
Director - Rohit Shetty.
Actors - Ajay Devgan, Parineeti Chopra, Tabu, Arshad Warsi, Tushar Kapur.
I have reviewed too many of these and given every one of it a Zero. I don't know how many Golmaals have come and gone. But that proves it - there are people who love this. Which proves India is light years away from any progressive movement. Well... I am over doing it.
But come on guys, comedy is not insulting every disability you can see. At least actors are pretty 'woke' people, they should refuse to do this! What the heck am talking about. Ajay Devgan - you are not a comedian please!
Anyway it had my favorite Parineeti, and that probably was the only good thing in the movie. She is a ghost in the movie, go figure. Well it's not that bad, if you like Rohit Shetty movies probably you are not waiting for me to give a green signal.
- Bhoomi - 1.5 Stars. R. - Old School Revenge Drama
Director - Omung Kumar
Actors - Sanjay Dutt, Aditi Rao Hydari
Thanks to movies like 'Pink' movies like Bhoomi finally look old school. First frame of the movie and you can know what the movie is about. The movie follows exactly what you thought for good or for bad. It grates on my nerves when they still make these rape victim stories, India is the rape capital of the world and it makes me cringe when they make just a commercial revenge drama about a subject that should be a national disgrace. Not that anything is wrong with the movie, at least the movie does not showcase 'rape' as an Item number like movies in 70s and 80s. I think part of India's problem is, the movie culture where they had 5 songs out of which 3-4 were about how Hero molests the female lead and then there were a few fight scenes before or after a rape attempt, that was an item number like rape scene. Anyway enough of my rant. It is an Ok movie and yea the girl is Aditi Rao and yes a good actor. Sanjay Dutt goes through the motions and is pretty good in the role, at least he is playing the father of the girl and not trying to play her big brother.
- Newton - 4.0 Stars. G. - Though you are a Nutan, but you have a Newton in you.
Newton - Trailer
Director - Amit Masurkar.
Actors - Rajkummar Rao, Pankaj Tripathi.
It is well documented my love for this kid - Rajkummar Rao. I don't know if he has any flaw, maybe that he puts one additional 'm' to his name than needed. This perfectly offbeat film is about Newton (Nutan) who wants to change the system, the young guy wants to make a difference, do something with his life. Everyone can identify with him. We call have a 'Nutan' is us. He becomes an election officer who is there for the love of his job. He will make sure elections are held in a meaningless constituency when no one cares, but Mr Newton cares, because if you do something do it right! Hence ensues hilarious, and still painful elections. And Mr Pankaj Tripathi is in it too. Go watch it!
- Chef - 2.0 Stars. G. - Why Copy a chef Story?
Director - Raja Krishna Menon.
Actors - Saif Ali Khan, Padma Priya Janakiraman.
What has come of Saif! After those big budget super flop spy movies, he has started doing these movies. Nothing bad in doing a small movie, in fact you will be encouraged by this blogger. Yes, Saif this was better than those multi-crore movies you were doing. But come on do an original! this is a copy of hollywood, I think it is called 'Burnt' I think there maybe more than one for sure.
Saif has a broken family, also has a temper that has landed him in trouble, now he wants to bond with his kid and his love for food-making makes him live in a small town and try open a restaurant. It is good time pass but Hollywood can't be beat in such movies. Chefs are an american thing not Indian.
Coffee with D - 3.0 Stars. PG. - Sunil Grover debuts
Director - Vishal Mishra
Actors - Sunil Grover, Zakir Hussain.
Sunil Grover is the comedian who broke up with Kapil Sharma and brought the entire Kapil show down. Now he has his own movie. It is definitely better than Kapil Sharma's movie, but thats all we can say about it. It is interesting premise, a failing News broadcaster wants to take an interview of the Most wanted underworld don and finally gets it. Was it a good idea? Some hilarious scenes ensue. I don't remember what happens in the end, so that's a reason to watch I guess and yes this one also has a certain Pankaj Tripathi!
- Poster Boys - 1.5 Stars. PG13. - Vasectomy-centric movie.
Director - Shreyas Talapade
Actors - Shreyas Talpade, Sunny Deol, Bobby Deol.
Shreyas Talpade looks like a cheap regular guy you meet on the street. Well he thinks like one too. He is the director and you can tell, his brand of comedy is pretty roadside. Movie is a juvenile comedy. 3 random people in the village get put on a poster for vasectomy advertisement. They are ridiculed by public regarding that. Later the movie tries to pivot into a 'Anarkali of aarah' kind of social media uprising twist, but it does not do the groundwork to become a serious movie. Most of the movie is about lame pedestrian jokes about the vasectomy poster. You can skip it.
- Mirror Game (Ab Khel Shuru) - 2.0 Stars. - Copied Psychological thriller
Actor - Parvin Dabas, Omi Vaidya, Pooja Batra.
A psychological thriller is not something Hindi movie writers can just come up with, obviously it is copied. How do I know? Because another movie of the same story is out there too. Once they find a movie they want to copy why cant they agree on who will steal it? As if there are not enough movies to copy from. Just copy another psychological thriller! As if you are going to make money anyway!
The movie is about a professor who is looking for his wife who is missing. Is he the killer? Is the crazy student the killer? maybe there is something else to the entire thing? Ok movie, you can check it out.
- Do Lafzon Ki Kahaani - 3.5 Stars. PG - Boxer falls in Love
Actors - Randeep Hooda, Kajal Aggarwal.
As you know this blogger loves Randeep Hooda and his brooding, lonely, painfilled, macho 70s Bachchan style persona. This movie uses that perfectly. Randeep Hooda is a boxer who has painful past, who falls in love with this Blind girl (Kajal Agarwal). Why do all girls with disability have to be over joyous and happy and bubbly and talkative? Just wondering, they can be just regular people too! There are enough distractions in the movie, it is a pretty good love story but the movie is also a thriller and crime drama etc. Lot of thing happen and there is a twist at the end. Watch it, maybe with a fast forward button.
- Simran - 3.0 Stars. PG. - Crazy - regular Girl.
Actors - Kangana Ranaut, Sohum Shah.
Simran starts off as a movie about a eccentric but regular girl and then it takes some pretty whacky turns. Then you start wondering what the movie is about? Some movies have problem nothing happens and some have problem of too much. Good thing about this movie is, that the lead actor has a lot of grey in fact she not very likable but still she is the lead. It is her story, she is eccentric, does some very dumb stuff, gets hurt, gets up and does 'dumb' again. In all she is pretty much a regular person. i identified with her. The movie itself could have been better presented, but overall not a bad watch if you can ignore some really impossible things going on, like robbing banks without getting caught.
- Mirza Juuliet - 2.5 Stars. PG. - It is Romeo Juliet and QSQT all in one.
Director - Rajesh Ram Singh
Actors - Darshan Kumar, Pia Bajpai.
Why did they name is Mirza Juuliet? Juuliet spells wrong because of Indian obsession with numerology which somehow works in English but not in hindi. It is a Love story with no name actors. The girl is a little made up, she tries to do too much, the boy is mmm.. also a little made up. They don't look just normal people, I blame it on makeup artist. Nothing wrong with the movie, again it has everything every love story ever had. Evil family, society, goons, under world, secrets, bad past etc. All leading to a typical love story climax. And yes that's the problem, we have seen it all before. Lot of effort has gone into the movie, with locales and shooting schedule etc, so if you are doing nothing you can watch it in fast forward.
- Bareilly Ki Barfi - 5.0 Stars. G. - This Barfi is an entire meal!
Director - Ashwiny Iyer Tiwari
Actors - Kriti Sanon, Ayushman Khurana, Rajkummar Rao.
You want to make a movie? Then that's how you do it.
Because there are so many positives I will start with the negative. The ending is a little underwhelming and dragged. could have edited 15 mins.
Now the positives or the entire movie. There is something called attention to detail and writing a script and dialogues. Hello India! Bollywood! this is how you do it! Every frame is so well done, I can watch the movie again to see what I missed the first time. Each scene has many subtle jokes and emotions going on. Every dialogue comes from daily life of regular folks and are hilarious! They are not jokes inserted in a scene, these are regular words coming out of the situation! The movie just restores faith in film making. If given enough time and resources to the most important department of film making - Script and dialogues people can do wonders! Last but not the least - Acting. This guy - Pankaj Tripathi as the Dad is awesome and a dad that has never been done before. The Dad is cool and progressive, still the most desi Dad you will ever see. I love you Pankaj sir. Then there is Seema Bhargava as the Mom, she was 'Badki' in Hum Log TV serial of 80s, in case you guys are as old as I am. What an actor, She brings 'real life' on the screen with a dash of humor. This couple probably is the best parent couple I have seen for some time.
Now to - Husband - Wife Tiwaris. Wife directs and Husband writes (Dangal Director), I can imagine how much fun the couple must have had writing this beautiful script and the pains and retakes they would have done to improvise each scene.
Lastly - Lead roles, Kriti - now you are an actor, what a cute and confident girl, you have been marked by this blogger as an 'actor' huge responsibility Madam! I won't even start with Rajkummar Rao, are you real? You can flip from acting 'Dud' to 'Stud' in 0.6 seconds?? Come on!! The movie is based in UP as the name suggests so if you were born and brought up in the North it is a must see.
What's the movie about? It's about Bareilly ki Barfi. Go watch it if you did not do so yet.
- Jagga Jasoos - 4.5 Stars. G. - Now this is a musical comical jasoos I can root for.
Director - Anurag Basu
Actors - Ranbir Kapoor, Katrina Kaif, Saswata Chatterjee
Huge warning - Probably this is a little too off the grid for you. It is a through and through musical. There are no regular dialogues everything is a song. So be careful.
I am fan of people who know what they are doing but they do it anyway, because that's what they want to do. Mr Anurag Basu knew he is not targeting a huge commercial success, but this is something that would have given him a ton of satisfaction. Another first in hindi movies. You know how hindi films are called 'musicals' sorry they are not. They are movies with songs put at various intervals for no reason. Then there is Jagga Jasoos. It is a first musical and it is also a first comic - movie. The entire film is like a Jagga Jasoos comic we are reading as a kid. what a beautiful and creative way to present it.
Once you accept these 2 realities in the movie - musical and a comic. This is immensely fun ride. You don't want the songs to end, and you want to pay attention on each and every line that is written beautifully. The comic just flows from one case to another. It starts off with an unrelated story about Jagga's school a murder mystery (could have been edited out) and then shifts to the real plot about beautiful emotional story of father-son duo and quest of the son to look for his father and on the way he un-earths a lot of mysteries.
This is out and out Ranbir Kapoor movie, some things only Ranbir can do. Who else can look a character straight out of a comic and look incredibly cute with that hair style? Katrina! she has been my punching bag for some time as a non actor. I let her free from my criticism, you do good Kat.
Look for songs like Question Mark! well. And Yes, I know you will come back and tell me how bad my reviews are, because you did not like it. But I don't care because you need to grow up and appreciate 'creative' when you see it.
- Sweetie Weds NRI - 2.0 Stars. G. - Cliched 'hatke' movie
Director - Hasnain Hyderabadwala
Actors - Himansh Kohli, Zoya Afroz.
You know these small 'hatke' movies? Now they are too many of those. This is just like the movie Mirza Juuliet, we have seen it all. Sweetie needs to get married to a NRI according to her Dad and the comedy follows. The local boy friend needs to find ways to stop NRIs meeting her and somehow pose as NRI to get married. Lot of comic scenes you have seen before, so probably you will be like - ok, where is my fast forward. Again it's an ok movie, nothing to criticize it.
- Lipstick Under my Burkha - 4.0 Stars. R. - Conservative's worst nightmare
Director - Alankrita Shrivastava
Actors - Ratna Pathak, Konkana Sen Sharma
Another brilliant movie for you. Another warning - This is in the 'artsy' genre if you are looking for 'Bollywood style' movie, then stay away. Now for rest of you - I can't believe how good some movies are written, this movie is beautifully directed and written. Lives women from all walks of life have everything in common because .... you guessed it, because they are women. Beautifully portrayed through narration of a sleazy novel being read by Ratna Pathak. A aging Mom may have sexual fantasies and may like sleazy novels, that it self is pretty fresh thought. These are regular girls with all sorts of flaws but they want to be left alone and enjoy there flaws! Just like other people. Well done, go watch it.
- Half Girlfriend - 0 Stars. G. - Chetan Bhagat thinks he is an Author
Director - Mohit Suri
Actors - Arjun Kapoor, Shradhha Kapoor.
Let's not waste our time here, Arjun Kapoor continues is journey to continues to own the worst actor crown and has left all competition in dust. Chetan Bhagat has proven .. well.. nothing. Let me tell you some rules - if a movie starts with a song it is not going to be a great movie. AND if a movie shows basketball as the central focus of romance when none of the actor know how to play - the movie is going to suck. After watching the movie, I have no clue what the half girlfriend is, probably On now off now girlfriend is half girlfriend? whatever it is. Give it a miss if you don't want to get angry.
- Death in the Gunj - 4.0 Stars. R. - One disturbing death.
Director - Konkana Sen Sharma
Actors - Vikrant Massey, Ranvir Shorey, Kalki Koechlin.
Did I say 'Lipstick' was a artsy movie? Then this is ART movie to the T. In 'Lipstick' Konkana was the actor in this one she is the director, what did you expect? It does not get more artsy than this. It is very well made one but not for the faint of heart. You may think later for some time, what you just saw. It may stick with you for sometime. I do think it could have been done a little better. Half way into the movie you can't tell what is the movie exactly about? If you can hang on till the end everything will explain itself. It follows a teen kid's mental state how families generally treat teens and how it affects them. Beautifully done the entire movie in one vacation trip.
Director: Subhash Kapoor.
