PODCAST THIS YEAR - A-TO-ZED BOLLYWOOD MOVIE REVIEW
- KalKill (Kali and Kill) - Coming Soon
- Mr and Mrs Mahi / Munjya
- Heeramandi
- Teri Baaton Mein Aisa Uljha Jiya
- Top 10 Movies of 2023
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BOLLYWOOD
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KALKI 2098AD : 3.0 Stars
Directed by - Nag Ashwin
Starring - Amitabh Bachchan, Kamal Haasan, Prabhas, Deepika Padukone, Disha Patani
WHY : A great creative concept pulled out Mahabharata's character and projected him in 2098. Awesome setup. Someone put together a script and actually thought about it! Ashwathama from Mahabharata is kept alive forever until he saves Lord Krishna when he takes avatar as Kalki in 2098 when earth is breathing it's last. If it was not for 80+ Amitabh Bachchan this movie was unbearable to watch, his entire role of Ashwathama saves this movie. Deepika can do nothing wrong and surprisingly Disha Patani is good too.
WHY NOT : Kamal Hassan is into his getups and is very weird, but still ok. Prabhas is probably Salman of South, he has no skills, not even a screen presence. His role is shoddy probably playing to his fans. The comedy is bad his intro scene was like 30 minutes long, I went out and got M&Ms and that scene still went on. The movie focusses on all sorts of gimmicks borrowed from Black Panther, Marvel and all other Hollywood movies, I think I saw Mad Max in their too. The story was powerful but they did not use it and hence no emotions were available to be experienced outside of Amitabh and Deepika's personal brilliance. No songs, no good dialogues in a 3 hour long saga.
KILL : 4.5 Stars.
Directed by - Nikhil Nagesh Bhat
Starring: Lakshya, Raghav Juyal, Ashish Vidyarthi, Harsh Chhaya, Tanya Maniktala, Abhishek Chauhan
WHY : First ever out and out action movie from India. Well, there has been others a notable mention is Bloody Daddy, but this one looked straight out of Hollywood. Karan Johar production is generally Disney of India, always good clean movies with a message. Scratch that for this one, it is bloody gory and just pure revenge. Just kill no drama. AND what a way to do it. Awesome, just the fact they pulled it off in every scene to keep to their North Star of making a movie - KILL. Go Watch it. Entire movie is in a train. Girl's family is riding the train and the lover boy boards it too, but so do goons who want to loot the entire train. That's all you need to know. The lover boy is an Army commando and the goons are 40+ with a plan. Let the killing begin.
WHY NOT : It is very bloody and very gory. Even though it has been done tastefully. Anyone who thinks they liked Animal because of action (they were wrong), it was all about celebration of everything bad in society. In KILL it is pure action and still a celebration of goodness. It has more killing than any movie you have seen but still it works. Only if Lakshya the new actor knew how to act a little better and Raghav could have been replaced by a little more of a villain this would be a 5 Starrrer.
CHANDU CHAMPION: 3.75 STARS.
Directed by - Kabir Khan
Starring - Kartik Aaryan, Vijay Raaz, Bhuvan Arora
WHY : Well made bio-epic. A forgotten star brought to light after the Para Olympics records were recently published about an Indian medalist. A great roller coaster story of this man who comes from a small town goes to Army to earn a medal in wrestling. One of the few real life stories that also entertain.
WHY NOT : As usual starts slow takes awful long time to pick speed. I have to applaud Karthik Aryan for trying different roles and trying his best to put in a good performance. But the performance is good not great. This movie has every ingredient to become a 4.5 stars except for it fails to tug at your heart. A great actor would make you cry, but Karthik fails though he tries. He doesn't have the skills, maybe one day he will.
MR AND MRS MAHI - 3.5 STARS.
Directed by - Sharan Sharma
Starring - Rajkumar Rao, Janhvi Kapoor
WHY : Mr Dependable Rajkumar Rao himself is enough to watch a movie. This is a cricket movie that has nothing to do with Mr Mahi (Dhoni). Our Lovers in the movie both have their nik names as Mahi and hence the movie. Another slow starting movie that has a good cute love story vibe and then we have our Mr Bechara, greatest loser of all time of Bollywood Mr Rajkumar Rao who does enough to keep it going. Not the best Janhvi Kapoor movie but she is passable. The movie just like Chandu Champion doesn't breach the 4.0 Star bar because the chemistry and the emotions don't make you choke up. Anyways I have talked enough about this in my Podcast.
WHY NOT : If you don't want to see how easily Jahnvi hits sixes without sweating at all, then don't watch it. Somewhat boring storyline between Dad and Son and it's an average love story so it's up to you. If you don't end up watching no big deal. I won't get mad at you. From 2.5-3.75 Stars it's up to you watch it or skip it. 4 Stars and above, if you don't watch a movie I will personally come to your home and yell outside your window and tell your neighbors you are a loser... and no not a cool loser like Rajkumar Rao.
CREW - 3.5 STARS.
Directed by - Rajesh A Krishnan
Starring - Tabu, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Kriti Sanon
WHY : I missed reviewing this movie for sometime. It looks like Charlies Angels of Bollywood from looks of it. But it is not. All 3 good actors put on a show! The great thing about the movie was it was a movie! You know not a women led movie but just a movie that happens to have women in the lead and only women. It made sense, the script demanded it and they were there. None of them had women problems, they were just human problems. I enjoyed it, a good break from monotony. 3 air hostess of a struggling airlines are struggling in life when they see a life line, it is illegal but who cares.
WHY NOT : It's not out and out entertainer. Also its been a while, I saw it in the theater so hardly remember much of it. When it is fresh sometimes you find a lot of flaws, but over time because I am a positive minded person I forget the flaws and remember the good things. See how I made myself better than I am? That's called a script and good film making.
YODHA : 2.0 Stars.
Directed by - Sagar Ambre, Pushkar Ojha
Starring - Sidharth Malhotra, Raashii Khanna, Disha Patani
WHY : If you like to look at Siddharth Malhotra like me, sure go ahead and watch it. Otherwise it will be a tough ask to get you to watch this one. Just watch the trailer and call it done, is one way to get it out of the way. If I remember correctly this soldier is the superman who won't take orders but can deliver the goods in a mission. He is fired and brought back because a plane is getting Hijacked in OBVIOUSLY Pakistan. He somehow is always in all planes getting hijacked. After a lot of action in couple of plane hijacking, it is time to save Indian politicians and Pakistani politicians in Pakistan. You get the point. Not very bad but just a bad one.
WHY NOT : Same old script, Indian soldier and PAKISTAN!! Villains talking bad about India then our hero destroying them and using a few one liners, that don't make sense.
SHAITAAN : 2.5 Stars.
Directed by - Vikas Bahl
Starring - Ajay Devgn, R. Madhavan, Jyothika, Janki Bodiwala, Anngad Raaj
WHY : Inspired by Drishyam, but can't match it. Ajay Devgan is trying to save his daughter from a psychic tantrik or whatever that is called. Madhavan the villain is some tantrik taking control of girls for god knows what. The movie goes in circles inside one home, good for the budget. I am not sure of the genre but it is something like a thriller, psychotic horrorish thing. The only bright spot is Jyothika who acts and emotes and raises the bar but others are just passable.
WHY NOT : Ajay Devgan's confused look, Madhavan trying too hard to be a villain. The stupid script celebrating all kinds of 'Andh Vishwas'. Black Magic, the name itself has Magic in it, how can it be real?? It needs to be called out why are only girls supposed to be vulnerable to all these black magic stuff? Why can't boys and men be used and reduced into a puppet by doing a few tricks? Or are men just too smart and cannot fall for it? Hardly any tantrik is a girl but all these men are always easily tricking girls into it. Well, let me not rant. I don't have time for it and I am running late to post this blog which works magic on you guys irrespective of you being girl or a boy. (That's called 'placement' of an ad of my blog in my own blog)
KHO GAYE HUM KAHAN : 4.5 Stars.
Directed by - Arjun Varain Singh
Starring - Siddhant Chaturvedi, Ananya Panday, Adarsh Gourav
WHY : You know these uncle directors who try to make a movie about young people and end up with a weird looking movie that shows what uncle's brain sees the young world to be? Yes, that exactly this movie is NOT. This is actually made by young people, acted by them and done perfectly well, Zoya hardly gets it wrong Akhtar is involved so it was going to be good. The first ever movie I have seen that captures social media and lives of cute little 20 somethings kids. The pressures and the relationships, beautifully written, every character has so much depth and thought. All the friends have equally meaty character and lives. Just poetry. Ananya, Sidhanth, Kalki and Adarsh all do great, they just were made for this movie.
WHY NOT : Maybe it's not your genre, and if you are egotistical 30+ already turned uncle aunty, all you will do is scorn at young people and say how great your lives were as you scroll your phone for more political news. Then don't watch it.
MAHARAJ : 3.0 Stars.
Directed by - Siddharth P. Malhotra
Starring - Junaid Khan, Jaideep Ahlawat, Shalini Pandey, Sharvari
WHY : A 18th or 19th century disgusting saga about a baba using girls for sex as a form of religious ceremony as disciples watch it by paying money! Was this true? The premise itself is so disgusting that I am wondering if it actually happened! Can we stop thinking that 'past' was something pure and better? Well, no one said that, but this was outlandishly disgusting. Even today's villain demonic babas do their bad things in private and once it comes out in public they do sometimes get punished. Anyways this is a debut vehicle for Aamir Khan's son Junaid and the villain baba is Jaideep Ahlawat, who after all his successes still is putting everything in his performances. He has completely transformed himself physically and plays this character in his own way, rethinking the entire villain attitude. His smug smile never becomes a laugh and he never loses his cool... awesome cool style...
WHY NOT : Not a very pleasant watch, Junaid plays a real life social reformer who challenges the baba. He is no Aamir Khan not in acting nor in looks. He has a diction problem just like all star kids. He tries hard but that's it. The sets and clothes and general feel looks more like 1940s than 1860s or whenever this film was supposed to be made.
BADE MIYAN CHHOTE MIYAN : 2.5 Stars.
Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan - Trailer
Directed by - Ali Abbas Zafar
Starring - Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Prithviraj Sukumaran, Manushi Chhillar, Alaya F, Sonakshi Sinha, Ronit Roy
WHY : The original Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan had the best music ever, but don't expect that from this one. For all it's flaws the script does have some twists and surprises. Everything is possible in the movie. Iron mask villain, genetic mutations, cloning and all. In the end it is 2 soldiers in Akshay and Tiger who can do no wrong and obviously won't listen to any orders but will get the job done. Is there ever a soldier in Indian movies who actually followed orders?? I think in history of Bollywood this has never happened! This is how much we hate rules and civilized society, and then we wonder why are we corrupt. Too much action and too many missions later they do save the world, or India whatever it was, funny that the thing that was going to destroy the entire world was called a 'Package'.
WHY NOT : Akshay has become unbearable to the point of what Dharam pa used to be after his prime when he would come in movies like 'paap ko jala ke rakh kar dunga'. Akshay's mustaches are becoming funnier every movie. Tiger is too plastic and chiseled but at least fights well. Both don't try to act or put anything meaningful into the movie. Too much waste of resources in action sequence. The villain is let's say 'different' but he ends up being some kind of software engineer in the end. I agree with that, all software engineers ARE the real problem in this world. You know what I am done talking about it.
CHAMKILA : 3.5 Stars.
Directed by - Imtiaz Ali
Starring - Diljit Dosanjh, Parineeti Chopra
WHY : Sincerity of Diljit Dosanjh in getting into a character's skin is amazing. He once did a great movie on 1984 Sikh riots. This guy is a proud Sikh and does it the right way. Last I saw him appear in Jimmy fallon's late night show and did a number from his album. The entire number was in 'thet' Punjabi and he didn't care. He doesn't cater to the UK Punjabi types where they just speak some Punjabi, English Hindi all mixed into some crass wording rap song. The guy stays true to his art. He gives it all in Chamkila the guy who sang crass numbers but was very popular just to be killed by extreme sections of Sikh religion. We also have this blogger's favorite Parineeti and she can't do nothing wrong.
WHY NOT : It is kind of a biopic, and that too have been very true to what Chamkila actually was. So when something is too authentic it gives you more pain than entertainment.
AE WATAN MERE WATAN : 2.0 Stars.
Directed by - Kannan Iyer
Starring - Sara Ali Khan, Anand Tiwari, Sachin Khedekar
WHY : A kind of Biopic of this female freedom fighter who kept the radio going to transmit messages for Indian freedom movement. Not a bad try, but too many patriotic movies have similar theme that you get numbed into it. A big surprise is Emraan Hashmi playing Ram Manohar Lohiya the famous freedom fighter and a bigger surprise is - It Works!! He actually works!! Great Job Mr Hashmi.
WHY NOT : Kudos to Sara Ali Khan, she is female Kartik Aryan of the industry. Both of them try various roles and show genuine interest to get better and both mostly fail to get there. But they are getting better. Sara has this intense piercing look that she gives whenever she thinks she has to give an intense performance. Sadly no one will give her tips to fix simple things, because these stars probably don't have mentors and teachers anymore.
MAIDAAN : 1.5 Stars.
Directed by - Amit Sharma
Starring - Ajay Devgn, Priyamani, Gajraj Rao
WHY : Good to know about an Indian Soccer coach who took the Indian soccer team to Olympics and then won Asian medal, the only time an Indian soccer team has ever won anything. For that knowledge you don't need to sit through a movie, but sure if that's the only way you are going to know about him then look at Ajay Devgan pretending to be a coach. But I just told you what I learned sitting through it so...
WHY NOT : Ajay Devgan never ever talks soccer in the entire movie. No strategy no moves no nothing. He just tries to look confused and look in the distance. The players try to put some character in the movie. Typical Indian football federation villains act like very filmy villains. Overall please don't make these sports biopics just because they are trendy. Sports biopic need a 'Junoon' to make it not put some money and say - Bhai ek sports biopic dena'
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BUDGET MOVIES
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LSD 2 - 0 STARS.
Directed by - Dibakar Banerjee
Starring - Paritosh Tiwari, Bonita Rajpurohit, Abhinav Singh, Swaroopa Ghosh
WHY : Dude! I gave it a zero! Well, I know you are not asking the Why, I am. It is the format, what can I do. Well I can change it but I did not. Kill me! What the heck why am I talking to myself, it's not even talking I am writing and talking to myself. ANYWAYS... You can watch it because I did not finish it! I betrayed my blog's tagline! 'I see it so you don't have to.' Maybe that's good enough reason to check it out.
WHY NOT : The movie is a Big Boss type of show, yes that's the movie the entire show ... that's it. It is horrible, only good thing is you don't get mad or frustrated. You are just like.... ummm is that a movie? Maybe you guys are right, what the heck am I doing with my life watching movies and writing blogs.
SHARMAJEE KI BETI : 4.5 Stars.
Directed by - Tahira Kashyap Khurrana
Starring - Sakshi Tanwar, Divya Dutta, Saiyami Kher, Parvin Dabas, Sharib Hashmi
WHY : It is a entertaining, fun and awesome movie. There are many Sharmajis and a few Sharma betis lives are intertwined in the most entertaining manner in this low key but great ride. Kudos to the writer and director (Tahira Kashyap Khurrana) to keep it engaging and not didactic. Keep it funny and not a life lesson. Cricketer gal (Saiyami Kher) has a boy friend who wants a typical girl friend, small town Mrs Sharma (Divya Dutta) can't figure why everyone is busy in mumbai and what they are running after. Career oriented Mrs Sharma (Sakshi Tanwar) is tired of being apologetic to like her job. But why this is a 4.5 Star and not a 3.5 Star movie is because of the best character of the year in Swati Sharma (Vanshika Taparia). She is hilarious as a middle schooler who is waiting for her periods as she wants to grow up into a woman but the entire world seems to be against her happiness. She can't think anything except her puberty this great actor plays the funny character to perfection. Hats off, a great star has arrived!
WHY NOT : It is a typical small budget movie, no action, no testosterone driven dialogues, no item number. No hateful rhetoric, no hindu-musalman. So it depends on who you are. If you don't like it, keep it to yourself, cuz am gonna judge you.
MUNJYA: 2.0 STARS.
Directed by - Aditya Sarpotdar
Starring - Sharvari, Abhay Verma, Mona Singh, Sathyaraj
WHY: If you like chhichhori comedy this is for you. The cute little ghost called Munjya was pretty slick. The plot is funny in parts, the ghost wants to marry his sweetheart! He needs a body of his own family to make this happen. If you end up watching it watch till almost the end because Munjya does eat someone's balls and that was the only funny scene I thought.
WHY NOT : It is a genre called Horror comedy, but it is not horror nor comedy. Some how it skips both! The female lead is pretty good but male lead even though not a nepo baby has hard time pulling this movie together. Comic timing and writing of scenes is flawed.
PATNA SHUKLA : 3.75 Stars.
Directed by - Vivek Budakoti
Starring - Raveena Tandon, Manav Vij, Chandan Roy Sanyal, Satish Kaushik
WHY : If you like small budget cute movies this is your movie. A small time lawyer who won't be taken seriously gets to help a girl who knows she did better than what her marks show. As they go about this seemingly innocuous case they run into big time scam. Raveena is first female actor who actually took upon her an accent, though she did not do great but at least somewhat she did speak bihari dialect. This is big deal because I have not seen a female lead ever having an accent except for weird or comic ones like hyderabadi actor who actually did not know hindi in one of the movies or Deepika in Chennai express. This is the first serious try at it and she does a pretty good job. Since Khuda Gawah I have always thought why Amitabh had a Pathan accent but Sridevi did not!
WHY NOT : Same as above. It is small budget women oriented movie. You know the drill for why not to.
MADGAON EXPRESS : 3.5 Stars.
Directed by - Kunal Khemu
Starring - Divyenndu, Pratik Gandhi, Avinash Tiwary, Nora Fatehi, Upendra Limaye, Chhaya Kadam
WHY : It is from our own Kunal Khemu. He has a great balance between stupid and simple comedy. His comic timing is great too. 3 friends unite after many years to complete their childhood dream to have a goa trip. All 3 don't have as great a life but they project one. In Goa they run into comedy of errors one after the other and before you know they are being chased by under world and cops.
WHY NOT : It is just a stupid comedy, you will get a few laughs but maybe a few yawns too. Just fast forward it whenever you want, the story is pretty easy to understand.
DANGE : 3.0 Stars.
Directed by - Bejoy Nambiar
Starring - Harshvardhan Rane, Ehan Bhat, Arjun Das, Kalidas Jayaram, Nikita Dutta, Sanchana Natarajan
WHY : Bhai cool college kids wali movie banayenge, mast elections, campus rivalry, fights etc. 2 brothers head to head clash at the campus due to bad blood in the past, will their love rise or will they be consumed by revenge... dhan ta naaaane... taana na nen....
WHY NOT : The actors are over the top stylish girls are over the top going for a cool look. Females were ok and men needed to tone down there over the top get up that overshadowed everything they were doing. ALSO, can you stop showing medical colleges for god's sakes!! None of them look doctors come on man!
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WEB SERIES
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KOTA FACTORY Season 3 : 3.0 Stars.
KOTA FACTORY Season 3 - Trailer
Directed by - Raghav Subbu, Pratish Mehta
Starring - Mayur More, Ranjan Raj, Alam Khan, Jitendra Kumar, Revathi Pillai, Urvi Singh, Ahsaas Channa
WHY : This is the third season, if you have watched the first 2 you know the drill. It is the finale, the kids are ready to give IIT exams and we come to know who got in and who did not. More importantly how great Jeetu bhaiya is.
WHY NOT : This was a little bit of a let down. One I have never liked their black and white take, second Jeetu Bhaiya suddenly going into depression and going to psychologist doesn't gel with the fun vibe of the show. They tried to get into philosophical aspect of coaching and how some kids don't make it but everyone is an equal. They tried and failed miserably.
Here is my take - None of these coaching classes are needed, if everything is banned, still the same kids will probably go to Engineering and MBBS colleges. Same kids will have the relative pressure but less, overall. Same kids will try hard at home rather than in a hostel and not spend precious teenage time away from home. So this is all a machine developed to make money which is completely useless and it's output is zero or negative. They could have shown that how less people get into IIT but others go on to have great lives and are not instantly killed as sometimes we think in the moment. But they just failed.
PANCHAYAT 3 : 4.0 Stars.
Directed by - Deepak Kumar Mishra
Starring - Jitendra Kumar, Raghubir Yadav, Neena Gupta,, Chandan Roy, Faisal Malik
WHY : If you have watched the 5 starrer first and second seasons, obviously you are going to watch the third one. I think it is the finale, and hopefully they won't make another one. Actually scratch that I know they are going to make another one.
WHY NOT : Just like Kota Factory, this comes in as a little bit of a downer. All the same characters make us enjoy life the same way but the complexity keeps on increasing and the stakes keep getting higher with too much of politician involvement etc. It did not remain as simple as the first, but to their credit how could they have kept it that simple either.
LOOTERE : 3.5 Stars.
Directed by Jai Mehta
Starring Vivek Gomber, Rajat Kapoor,, Amruta Khanvilkar, Martial Batchamen Tchana
WHY : First time I have seen an Indian show shot in Africa with half the cast African! That is pretty cool. The show is also very uniquely different about corrupt Indian business man in Somalia and his greed that puts a ship at risk as an Indian crew of the ship is kidnapped by pirates. Jay Mehta does an excellent job of carrying this show with some great actors from Africa. This is something different that you have never watched before.
WHY NOT : The ship scenes become long and some scenes are gruesome and gross. The ship and the kidnapping by Pirates is dragged for way too long. The ending is very depressing.
