PODCAST THIS YEAR - A-TO-ZED BOLLYWOOD MOVIE REVIEW
PODCAST THIS YEAR - A-TO-ZED BOLLYWOOD MOVIE REVIEW
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BOLLYWOOD
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KALKI 2098AD : 3.0 Stars
Directed by - Nag Ashwin
Starring - Amitabh Bachchan, Kamal Haasan, Prabhas, Deepika Padukone, Disha Patani
WHY : A great creative concept pulled out Mahabharata's character and projected him in 2098. Awesome setup. Someone put together a script and actually thought about it! Ashwathama from Mahabharata is kept alive forever until he saves Lord Krishna when he takes avatar as Kalki in 2098 when earth is breathing it's last. If it was not for 80+ Amitabh Bachchan this movie was unbearable to watch, his entire role of Ashwathama saves this movie. Deepika can do nothing wrong and surprisingly Disha Patani is good too.
WHY NOT : Kamal Hassan is into his getups and is very weird, but still ok. Prabhas is probably Salman of South, he has no skills, not even a screen presence. His role is shoddy probably playing to his fans. The comedy is bad his intro scene was like 30 minutes long, I went out and got M&Ms and that scene still went on. The movie focusses on all sorts of gimmicks borrowed from Black Panther, Marvel and all other Hollywood movies, I think I saw Mad Max in their too. The story was powerful but they did not use it and hence no emotions were available to be experienced outside of Amitabh and Deepika's personal brilliance. No songs, no good dialogues in a 3 hour long saga.
KILL : 4.5 Stars.
Directed by - Nikhil Nagesh Bhat
Starring: Lakshya, Raghav Juyal, Ashish Vidyarthi, Harsh Chhaya, Tanya Maniktala, Abhishek Chauhan
WHY : First ever out and out action movie from India. Well, there has been others a notable mention is Bloody Daddy, but this one looked straight out of Hollywood. Karan Johar production is generally Disney of India, always good clean movies with a message. Scratch that for this one, it is bloody gory and just pure revenge. Just kill no drama. AND what a way to do it. Awesome, just the fact they pulled it off in every scene to keep to their North Star of making a movie - KILL. Go Watch it. Entire movie is in a train. Girl's family is riding the train and the lover boy boards it too, but so do goons who want to loot the entire train. That's all you need to know. The lover boy is an Army commando and the goons are 40+ with a plan. Let the killing begin.
WHY NOT : It is very bloody and very gory. Even though it has been done tastefully. Anyone who thinks they liked Animal because of action (they were wrong), it was all about celebration of everything bad in society. In KILL it is pure action and still a celebration of goodness. It has more killing than any movie you have seen but still it works. Only if Lakshya the new actor knew how to act a little better and Raghav could have been replaced by a little more of a villain this would be a 5 Starrrer.
CHANDU CHAMPION: 3.75 STARS.
Directed by - Kabir Khan
Starring - Kartik Aaryan, Vijay Raaz, Bhuvan Arora
WHY : Well made bio-epic. A forgotten star brought to light after the Para Olympics records were recently published about an Indian medalist. A great roller coaster story of this man who comes from a small town goes to Army to earn a medal in wrestling. One of the few real life stories that also entertain.
WHY NOT : As usual starts slow takes awful long time to pick speed. I have to applaud Karthik Aryan for trying different roles and trying his best to put in a good performance. But the performance is good not great. This movie has every ingredient to become a 4.5 stars except for it fails to tug at your heart. A great actor would make you cry, but Karthik fails though he tries. He doesn't have the skills, maybe one day he will.
MR AND MRS MAHI - 3.5 STARS.
Directed by - Sharan Sharma
Starring - Rajkumar Rao, Janhvi Kapoor
WHY : Mr Dependable Rajkumar Rao himself is enough to watch a movie. This is a cricket movie that has nothing to do with Mr Mahi (Dhoni). Our Lovers in the movie both have their nik names as Mahi and hence the movie. Another slow starting movie that has a good cute love story vibe and then we have our Mr Bechara, greatest loser of all time of Bollywood Mr Rajkumar Rao who does enough to keep it going. Not the best Janhvi Kapoor movie but she is passable. The movie just like Chandu Champion doesn't breach the 4.0 Star bar because the chemistry and the emotions don't make you choke up. Anyways I have talked enough about this in my Podcast.
WHY NOT : If you don't want to see how easily Jahnvi hits sixes without sweating at all, then don't watch it. Somewhat boring storyline between Dad and Son and it's an average love story so it's up to you. If you don't end up watching no big deal. I won't get mad at you. From 2.5-3.75 Stars it's up to you watch it or skip it. 4 Stars and above, if you don't watch a movie I will personally come to your home and yell outside your window and tell your neighbors you are a loser... and no not a cool loser like Rajkumar Rao.
CREW - 3.5 STARS.
Directed by - Rajesh A Krishnan
Starring - Tabu, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Kriti Sanon
WHY : I missed reviewing this movie for sometime. It looks like Charlies Angels of Bollywood from looks of it. But it is not. All 3 good actors put on a show! The great thing about the movie was it was a movie! You know not a women led movie but just a movie that happens to have women in the lead and only women. It made sense, the script demanded it and they were there. None of them had women problems, they were just human problems. I enjoyed it, a good break from monotony. 3 air hostess of a struggling airlines are struggling in life when they see a life line, it is illegal but who cares.
WHY NOT : It's not out and out entertainer. Also its been a while, I saw it in the theater so hardly remember much of it. When it is fresh sometimes you find a lot of flaws, but over time because I am a positive minded person I forget the flaws and remember the good things. See how I made myself better than I am? That's called a script and good film making.
YODHA : 2.0 Stars.
Directed by - Sagar Ambre, Pushkar Ojha
Starring - Sidharth Malhotra, Raashii Khanna, Disha Patani
WHY : If you like to look at Siddharth Malhotra like me, sure go ahead and watch it. Otherwise it will be a tough ask to get you to watch this one. Just watch the trailer and call it done, is one way to get it out of the way. If I remember correctly this soldier is the superman who won't take orders but can deliver the goods in a mission. He is fired and brought back because a plane is getting Hijacked in OBVIOUSLY Pakistan. He somehow is always in all planes getting hijacked. After a lot of action in couple of plane hijacking, it is time to save Indian politicians and Pakistani politicians in Pakistan. You get the point. Not very bad but just a bad one.
WHY NOT : Same old script, Indian soldier and PAKISTAN!! Villains talking bad about India then our hero destroying them and using a few one liners, that don't make sense.
SHAITAAN : 2.5 Stars.
Directed by - Vikas Bahl
Starring - Ajay Devgn, R. Madhavan, Jyothika, Janki Bodiwala, Anngad Raaj
WHY : Inspired by Drishyam, but can't match it. Ajay Devgan is trying to save his daughter from a psychic tantrik or whatever that is called. Madhavan the villain is some tantrik taking control of girls for god knows what. The movie goes in circles inside one home, good for the budget. I am not sure of the genre but it is something like a thriller, psychotic horrorish thing. The only bright spot is Jyothika who acts and emotes and raises the bar but others are just passable.
WHY NOT : Ajay Devgan's confused look, Madhavan trying too hard to be a villain. The stupid script celebrating all kinds of 'Andh Vishwas'. Black Magic, the name itself has Magic in it, how can it be real?? It needs to be called out why are only girls supposed to be vulnerable to all these black magic stuff? Why can't boys and men be used and reduced into a puppet by doing a few tricks? Or are men just too smart and cannot fall for it? Hardly any tantrik is a girl but all these men are always easily tricking girls into it. Well, let me not rant. I don't have time for it and I am running late to post this blog which works magic on you guys irrespective of you being girl or a boy. (That's called 'placement' of an ad of my blog in my own blog)
KHO GAYE HUM KAHAN : 4.5 Stars.
Directed by - Arjun Varain Singh
Starring - Siddhant Chaturvedi, Ananya Panday, Adarsh Gourav
WHY : You know these uncle directors who try to make a movie about young people and end up with a weird looking movie that shows what uncle's brain sees the young world to be? Yes, that exactly this movie is NOT. This is actually made by young people, acted by them and done perfectly well, Zoya hardly gets it wrong Akhtar is involved so it was going to be good. The first ever movie I have seen that captures social media and lives of cute little 20 somethings kids. The pressures and the relationships, beautifully written, every character has so much depth and thought. All the friends have equally meaty character and lives. Just poetry. Ananya, Sidhanth, Kalki and Adarsh all do great, they just were made for this movie.
WHY NOT : Maybe it's not your genre, and if you are egotistical 30+ already turned uncle aunty, all you will do is scorn at young people and say how great your lives were as you scroll your phone for more political news. Then don't watch it.
MAHARAJ : 3.0 Stars.
Directed by - Siddharth P. Malhotra
Starring - Junaid Khan, Jaideep Ahlawat, Shalini Pandey, Sharvari
WHY : A 18th or 19th century disgusting saga about a baba using girls for sex as a form of religious ceremony as disciples watch it by paying money! Was this true? The premise itself is so disgusting that I am wondering if it actually happened! Can we stop thinking that 'past' was something pure and better? Well, no one said that, but this was outlandishly disgusting. Even today's villain demonic babas do their bad things in private and once it comes out in public they do sometimes get punished. Anyways this is a debut vehicle for Aamir Khan's son Junaid and the villain baba is Jaideep Ahlawat, who after all his successes still is putting everything in his performances. He has completely transformed himself physically and plays this character in his own way, rethinking the entire villain attitude. His smug smile never becomes a laugh and he never loses his cool... awesome cool style...
WHY NOT : Not a very pleasant watch, Junaid plays a real life social reformer who challenges the baba. He is no Aamir Khan not in acting nor in looks. He has a diction problem just like all star kids. He tries hard but that's it. The sets and clothes and general feel looks more like 1940s than 1860s or whenever this film was supposed to be made.
BADE MIYAN CHHOTE MIYAN : 2.5 Stars.
Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan - Trailer
Directed by - Ali Abbas Zafar
Starring - Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Prithviraj Sukumaran, Manushi Chhillar, Alaya F, Sonakshi Sinha, Ronit Roy
WHY : The original Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan had the best music ever, but don't expect that from this one. For all it's flaws the script does have some twists and surprises. Everything is possible in the movie. Iron mask villain, genetic mutations, cloning and all. In the end it is 2 soldiers in Akshay and Tiger who can do no wrong and obviously won't listen to any orders but will get the job done. Is there ever a soldier in Indian movies who actually followed orders?? I think in history of Bollywood this has never happened! This is how much we hate rules and civilized society, and then we wonder why are we corrupt. Too much action and too many missions later they do save the world, or India whatever it was, funny that the thing that was going to destroy the entire world was called a 'Package'.
WHY NOT : Akshay has become unbearable to the point of what Dharam pa used to be after his prime when he would come in movies like 'paap ko jala ke rakh kar dunga'. Akshay's mustaches are becoming funnier every movie. Tiger is too plastic and chiseled but at least fights well. Both don't try to act or put anything meaningful into the movie. Too much waste of resources in action sequence. The villain is let's say 'different' but he ends up being some kind of software engineer in the end. I agree with that, all software engineers ARE the real problem in this world. You know what I am done talking about it.
CHAMKILA : 3.5 Stars.
Directed by - Imtiaz Ali
Starring - Diljit Dosanjh, Parineeti Chopra
WHY : Sincerity of Diljit Dosanjh in getting into a character's skin is amazing. He once did a great movie on 1984 Sikh riots. This guy is a proud Sikh and does it the right way. Last I saw him appear in Jimmy fallon's late night show and did a number from his album. The entire number was in 'thet' Punjabi and he didn't care. He doesn't cater to the UK Punjabi types where they just speak some Punjabi, English Hindi all mixed into some crass wording rap song. The guy stays true to his art. He gives it all in Chamkila the guy who sang crass numbers but was very popular just to be killed by extreme sections of Sikh religion. We also have this blogger's favorite Parineeti and she can't do nothing wrong.
WHY NOT : It is kind of a biopic, and that too have been very true to what Chamkila actually was. So when something is too authentic it gives you more pain than entertainment.
AE WATAN MERE WATAN : 2.0 Stars.
Directed by - Kannan Iyer
Starring - Sara Ali Khan, Anand Tiwari, Sachin Khedekar
WHY : A kind of Biopic of this female freedom fighter who kept the radio going to transmit messages for Indian freedom movement. Not a bad try, but too many patriotic movies have similar theme that you get numbed into it. A big surprise is Emraan Hashmi playing Ram Manohar Lohiya the famous freedom fighter and a bigger surprise is - It Works!! He actually works!! Great Job Mr Hashmi.
WHY NOT : Kudos to Sara Ali Khan, she is female Kartik Aryan of the industry. Both of them try various roles and show genuine interest to get better and both mostly fail to get there. But they are getting better. Sara has this intense piercing look that she gives whenever she thinks she has to give an intense performance. Sadly no one will give her tips to fix simple things, because these stars probably don't have mentors and teachers anymore.
MAIDAAN : 1.5 Stars.
Directed by - Amit Sharma
Starring - Ajay Devgn, Priyamani, Gajraj Rao
WHY : Good to know about an Indian Soccer coach who took the Indian soccer team to Olympics and then won Asian medal, the only time an Indian soccer team has ever won anything. For that knowledge you don't need to sit through a movie, but sure if that's the only way you are going to know about him then look at Ajay Devgan pretending to be a coach. But I just told you what I learned sitting through it so...
WHY NOT : Ajay Devgan never ever talks soccer in the entire movie. No strategy no moves no nothing. He just tries to look confused and look in the distance. The players try to put some character in the movie. Typical Indian football federation villains act like very filmy villains. Overall please don't make these sports biopics just because they are trendy. Sports biopic need a 'Junoon' to make it not put some money and say - Bhai ek sports biopic dena'
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BUDGET MOVIES
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LSD 2 - 0 STARS.
Directed by - Dibakar Banerjee
Starring - Paritosh Tiwari, Bonita Rajpurohit, Abhinav Singh, Swaroopa Ghosh
WHY : Dude! I gave it a zero! Well, I know you are not asking the Why, I am. It is the format, what can I do. Well I can change it but I did not. Kill me! What the heck why am I talking to myself, it's not even talking I am writing and talking to myself. ANYWAYS... You can watch it because I did not finish it! I betrayed my blog's tagline! 'I see it so you don't have to.' Maybe that's good enough reason to check it out.
WHY NOT : The movie is a Big Boss type of show, yes that's the movie the entire show ... that's it. It is horrible, only good thing is you don't get mad or frustrated. You are just like.... ummm is that a movie? Maybe you guys are right, what the heck am I doing with my life watching movies and writing blogs.
SHARMAJEE KI BETI : 4.5 Stars.
Directed by - Tahira Kashyap Khurrana
Starring - Sakshi Tanwar, Divya Dutta, Saiyami Kher, Parvin Dabas, Sharib Hashmi
WHY : It is a entertaining, fun and awesome movie. There are many Sharmajis and a few Sharma betis lives are intertwined in the most entertaining manner in this low key but great ride. Kudos to the writer and director (Tahira Kashyap Khurrana) to keep it engaging and not didactic. Keep it funny and not a life lesson. Cricketer gal (Saiyami Kher) has a boy friend who wants a typical girl friend, small town Mrs Sharma (Divya Dutta) can't figure why everyone is busy in mumbai and what they are running after. Career oriented Mrs Sharma (Sakshi Tanwar) is tired of being apologetic to like her job. But why this is a 4.5 Star and not a 3.5 Star movie is because of the best character of the year in Swati Sharma (Vanshika Taparia). She is hilarious as a middle schooler who is waiting for her periods as she wants to grow up into a woman but the entire world seems to be against her happiness. She can't think anything except her puberty this great actor plays the funny character to perfection. Hats off, a great star has arrived!
WHY NOT : It is a typical small budget movie, no action, no testosterone driven dialogues, no item number. No hateful rhetoric, no hindu-musalman. So it depends on who you are. If you don't like it, keep it to yourself, cuz am gonna judge you.
MUNJYA: 2.0 STARS.
Directed by - Aditya Sarpotdar
Starring - Sharvari, Abhay Verma, Mona Singh, Sathyaraj
WHY: If you like chhichhori comedy this is for you. The cute little ghost called Munjya was pretty slick. The plot is funny in parts, the ghost wants to marry his sweetheart! He needs a body of his own family to make this happen. If you end up watching it watch till almost the end because Munjya does eat someone's balls and that was the only funny scene I thought.
WHY NOT : It is a genre called Horror comedy, but it is not horror nor comedy. Some how it skips both! The female lead is pretty good but male lead even though not a nepo baby has hard time pulling this movie together. Comic timing and writing of scenes is flawed.
PATNA SHUKLA : 3.75 Stars.
Directed by - Vivek Budakoti
Starring - Raveena Tandon, Manav Vij, Chandan Roy Sanyal, Satish Kaushik
WHY : If you like small budget cute movies this is your movie. A small time lawyer who won't be taken seriously gets to help a girl who knows she did better than what her marks show. As they go about this seemingly innocuous case they run into big time scam. Raveena is first female actor who actually took upon her an accent, though she did not do great but at least somewhat she did speak bihari dialect. This is big deal because I have not seen a female lead ever having an accent except for weird or comic ones like hyderabadi actor who actually did not know hindi in one of the movies or Deepika in Chennai express. This is the first serious try at it and she does a pretty good job. Since Khuda Gawah I have always thought why Amitabh had a Pathan accent but Sridevi did not!
WHY NOT : Same as above. It is small budget women oriented movie. You know the drill for why not to.
MADGAON EXPRESS : 3.5 Stars.
Directed by - Kunal Khemu
Starring - Divyenndu, Pratik Gandhi, Avinash Tiwary, Nora Fatehi, Upendra Limaye, Chhaya Kadam
WHY : It is from our own Kunal Khemu. He has a great balance between stupid and simple comedy. His comic timing is great too. 3 friends unite after many years to complete their childhood dream to have a goa trip. All 3 don't have as great a life but they project one. In Goa they run into comedy of errors one after the other and before you know they are being chased by under world and cops.
WHY NOT : It is just a stupid comedy, you will get a few laughs but maybe a few yawns too. Just fast forward it whenever you want, the story is pretty easy to understand.
DANGE : 3.0 Stars.
Directed by - Bejoy Nambiar
Starring - Harshvardhan Rane, Ehan Bhat, Arjun Das, Kalidas Jayaram, Nikita Dutta, Sanchana Natarajan
WHY : Bhai cool college kids wali movie banayenge, mast elections, campus rivalry, fights etc. 2 brothers head to head clash at the campus due to bad blood in the past, will their love rise or will they be consumed by revenge... dhan ta naaaane... taana na nen....
WHY NOT : The actors are over the top stylish girls are over the top going for a cool look. Females were ok and men needed to tone down there over the top get up that overshadowed everything they were doing. ALSO, can you stop showing medical colleges for god's sakes!! None of them look doctors come on man!
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WEB SERIES
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KOTA FACTORY Season 3 : 3.0 Stars.
KOTA FACTORY Season 3 - Trailer
Directed by - Raghav Subbu, Pratish Mehta
Starring - Mayur More, Ranjan Raj, Alam Khan, Jitendra Kumar, Revathi Pillai, Urvi Singh, Ahsaas Channa
WHY : This is the third season, if you have watched the first 2 you know the drill. It is the finale, the kids are ready to give IIT exams and we come to know who got in and who did not. More importantly how great Jeetu bhaiya is.
WHY NOT : This was a little bit of a let down. One I have never liked their black and white take, second Jeetu Bhaiya suddenly going into depression and going to psychologist doesn't gel with the fun vibe of the show. They tried to get into philosophical aspect of coaching and how some kids don't make it but everyone is an equal. They tried and failed miserably.
Here is my take - None of these coaching classes are needed, if everything is banned, still the same kids will probably go to Engineering and MBBS colleges. Same kids will have the relative pressure but less, overall. Same kids will try hard at home rather than in a hostel and not spend precious teenage time away from home. So this is all a machine developed to make money which is completely useless and it's output is zero or negative. They could have shown that how less people get into IIT but others go on to have great lives and are not instantly killed as sometimes we think in the moment. But they just failed.
PANCHAYAT 3 : 4.0 Stars.
Directed by - Deepak Kumar Mishra
Starring - Jitendra Kumar, Raghubir Yadav, Neena Gupta,, Chandan Roy, Faisal Malik
WHY : If you have watched the 5 starrer first and second seasons, obviously you are going to watch the third one. I think it is the finale, and hopefully they won't make another one. Actually scratch that I know they are going to make another one.
WHY NOT : Just like Kota Factory, this comes in as a little bit of a downer. All the same characters make us enjoy life the same way but the complexity keeps on increasing and the stakes keep getting higher with too much of politician involvement etc. It did not remain as simple as the first, but to their credit how could they have kept it that simple either.
LOOTERE : 3.5 Stars.
Directed by Jai Mehta
Starring Vivek Gomber, Rajat Kapoor,, Amruta Khanvilkar, Martial Batchamen Tchana
WHY : First time I have seen an Indian show shot in Africa with half the cast African! That is pretty cool. The show is also very uniquely different about corrupt Indian business man in Somalia and his greed that puts a ship at risk as an Indian crew of the ship is kidnapped by pirates. Jay Mehta does an excellent job of carrying this show with some great actors from Africa. This is something different that you have never watched before.
WHY NOT : The ship scenes become long and some scenes are gruesome and gross. The ship and the kidnapping by Pirates is dragged for way too long. The ending is very depressing.
Podcast-review - Google / Samsung
MURDER MUBARAK - 2.0 STARS. G
Directed by - Homi Adajania
Starring - Sara Ali Khan, Vijay Varma, Karisma Kapoor, Dimple Kapadia, Tisca Chopra, Sanjay Kapoor, Pankaj Tripathi
Why - It's inspired by Knives Out. Its a murder mystery and it has a lot of twists. Return of Karishma.
Why Not - It's inspired by Knives out, but that's where the similarity ends. Pankaj Tripathi has lost his comic timing worse than Hardik Pandya losing his winning touch. He is atrocious and bad in everything he does. Sara and Karishma need acting lessons. The mystery is there but you would not be wanting to know whodunnit.
MERRY CHRISTMAS - 3.5 STARS. PG.
Directed by - Sriram Raghavan
Starring - Katrina Kaif, Vijay Sethupathi
Why - Vijat Sethupathi is a pretty bankable star. His movies are generally good. One of the better stars from south. Katrina has found a new life, it's called acting. Both of them do a nice jugalbandi that works. The movie is slow and you need to sit back and enjoy all the moments and try to piece the puzzle together as you have your popcorn. Old school pace but a good plot. No wonder it is based on a novel written decades ago. Watch it.
Why Not - Something is amiss as far as modern movie making is concerned. Feels empty for long periods of time. Not much happens until Interval, could have used some editing (which can be said for every Hindi movie).
DUNKI - 1.5 STARS. PG.
Directed by - Rajkumar Hirani
Starring - Taapsee Pannu, Shah Rukh Khan, Boman Irani, Anil Grover, Vikram Kochhar, Vicky Kaushal
Why - Hard to say why you should watch this one. Maybe because you already have watched it so I don't need to answer this one.
Why Not - Too many reasons, but let's welcome Rajkumar Hirani into 'uncle-hood'. He is one of those Directors who are stuck in their era of movie making. Now if he works with Aamir he may still give a good movie but then that won't be considered his. Shah Rukh Khan has reached uncle level quite a while back, he is ridiculously bad in this movie. Trying his oft repeated 90s style comedy, though to his defense the movie was made in 90s (in Rajkumar Hirani's mind). Everyone acts really bad except Mr Vicky Kaushal who is probably in purple patch of his acting form and can't do anything wrong. Boman Irani should be banned from acting. Taapsee - please stop trying to feature with SRK.
SAM BAHADUR - 3.5 STARS. PG.
Directed by - Meghna Gulzar
Starring - Vicky Kaushal, Fatima Sana Shaikh, Sanya Malhotra
Why - 3 reasons to watch it - Mr Vicky Kaushal, Mr Vicky Kaushal and Mr Vicky Kaushal. I don't know how Sam Bahadur looked like, but I know Vicky is Sam Bahadur. It is kind of a biopic of this parsi general of India who is the GOAT.
Why Not - Seeing Meghna Gulzar making this one sided administration pleasing movies makes me puke. India is on it's way to zero freedom of expression. Making a war movie showing everything great about a person and showing the then administration in bad light to please the current administration is a recipe of a movie that is not honest. Why make one?
BHAKSHAK - 4.0 STARS. R
Directed by - Pulkit
Starring - Bhumi Pednekar, Sanjay Mishra, Aditya Srivastava, Sai Tamhankar
Why - Sanjay Mishra is good, and Bhumi plays it well. a Couple of no name journalist won't budge from truth. In today's India sounds too idealistic but the movie is well done. The 2 show grit and determination to fight, you pull for them as the movie progresses. Bhumi is the first female actor who changes her dialect and learns how to speak Bihari. For the longest time I have wondered why do female leads never change their language according to the region they are representing!
Why Not - Kinda artsy slowish but plot does have enough commercial element. But you get the point, basically there is no item number or romance. Instead it tackles sexual exploitation of minors. I know you muttered I don't want to get depressed.
LAAPATA LADIES - 5.0 STARS. G.
Directed by - Kiran Rao
Starring - Nitanshi Goel, Sparsh Shrivastava, Pratibha Ranta, Abhay Dubey, Chhaya Kadam, Ravi Kishan
Why - Do me a favor, just watch it instead of asking why why why. Oh... you never asked me? It's me who is asking the Why and responding to it? Okay, that's fine. I will answer it. Beautiful beautiful beautiful poetry of a movie. Aamir Khan Productions and Kiran Rao at the helm. What could have gone wrong? Take a bow Ms Kiran Rao, you are awesome. Every scene is so well thought and done with love for the craft. Even the premise of the movie is hilariously patriarchal. It has a subtle undercurrent of comedy. How do you keep it light and funny while the characters are having a meltdown of their lives! Beautifully done by everyone from Nitanshi and Pratibha to the male leads in Sparsh and Abhay. Surprisingly great role by Ravi Kishan who provides us the twist.
Why Not - Have said it many times. If you only watch "Bollywood" then don't watch it. It is definitely not the big movie you want to watch. Also, no India - Pakistan, in fact it is a loving criticism of your beloved culture.
CRAKK - 3.0 STARS. G.
Directed by - Aditya Datt
Starring - Vidyut Jammwal, Arjun Rampal, Nora Fatehi, Amy Jackson
Why - It has been a while we saw Vidyut. He is getting wider and shorter somehow. But who cares we like him. The movie is a Hunger games desi version. Good stunts and umm... good stunts? I love the tag line of the movie - Jeetega to Jiyegaa.
Why Not - Vidyut hardly give a great movie, but we like him. Arjun is looking pretty atrocious as a villain. Looks more like a video game than a movie, very cheap side actors and made on shoe string budget with a lot of stylish tacky special effects.
TERI BAATON MEIN AISA ULJHA JIYA - 4.0 STARS. G.
Teri Baaton Mein Aisa Uljha Jiya - Trailer
Directed by - Amit Joshi, Aradhana Sah
Starring - Shahid Kapoor, Kriti Sanon
Why - I know what you think about me. Old man doesn't know how to have fun, liking all the heavy and serious movies. If you read my garbage blog you are permitted to hate on me. I am totally fine with it. But here is the answer to your prayers. This is the movie that is all out fun with zero problems. Simple straight forward Bollywood entertainer. You know what is great about it, it's not copied, it doesn't cater to tried and trusted formulas but still an out and out entertainer. An AI revolution Bollywood style. A robot who is human, a computer engineer who is a good looking human? umm.. that was a stretch but it was fun. Go watch it. Awesome jokes great laughs and just stupid entertainer.
Why Not - If you watched the trailer then that was the entire movie chronologically put together.
JORAM - 3.5 STARS. PG13.
Directed by - Devashish Makhija
Starring - Manoj Bajpayee, Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub
Why - Dalit man wants to run, but where will he run? The world is not for him but he wants his daughter to live. So he has to run and he will run. Some people come to this world marked. So they run and Joram's dad gotta run. The thick accent in the movie is almost impossible to understand which adds to the movie and proves it's genre of being an art movie.
Why Not - This is the kind of movie that I like and you judge me. But I always put an Asterix saying this is an artsy movie. Well from this edition I stopped categorizing movies in various categories. Why? Because ... umm.. I am late by 3 weeks in releasing this blog and no one is waiting. So due to those reasons I am rushing through it. Yes so this movie is not artsy, it is a perfect art movie. The guy runs and runs and runs.... that's all he does.
STARFISH - 1.0 STARS. G.
Directed by - Akhilesh Jaiswal
Starring - Khushalii Kumar, Milind Soman, Ehan Bhat, Tushar Khanna
Why - Milind Soman hilariously looking like Jesus Christ and talking like Gautam Budhha. It is just hilarious.
Why Not - The movie pretends to be this socially relevant, philosophically great, genius movie. But it's all a bad pretense. The lead actor, Khushali probably has paid everyone to make this movie, because she wants to do everything, be heartbroken, be sexy, be drunk, be depressed, be funny.... let's put all of my greatness in one movie and let's make a complicated genius movie. I think that was the assignment.
12th FAIL - 5.0 STARS. G.
Directed by - Vidhu Vinod Chopra
Starring - Vikrant Massey, Medha Shankar, Anant V Joshi, Anshumaan Pushkar
Why - Vidhu Vinod Chopra is another uncle director who always was an Uncle. Even when he was young he was an uncle. But the guy still is not the uncle-director that Rajkumar Hirani is. This guy still got some left in him. I am watching the movie and I don't know why I feel this lump in my throat, why is a grown a$$ man crying in a movie? Well, I always cry so not saying much. You get the point, this tugs at your heart. You root for this underprivileged villager to succeed and find a place in civil services one of toughest exams in India. The story is something you have seen many times but somehow the details it plucks from this man's life and puts them in front of us with sincerity makes you cry. Well, makes me cry. Vikrant plays the role to perfection but this girl Medha Shankar knocks the ball outta the park for sure.
Why Not - Same answer as others. No item number. No helicopter scene, no train heist, love story is not in swiss alps. You get the point.
DRY DAY - 2.5 STARS. G
Directed by - Saurabh Shukla
Starring - Jitendra Kumar, Shriya Pilgaonkar, Annu Kapoor
Why - You root for some movies to do well. You want them to be good. This is one of them. I like Jitendra Kumar, and his body of work. This is a cute movie. Jitendra kumar plays this not so good guy who still is likeable who wants to be a corporator in the world of dirty politics.
Why Not - The movie falls short of being anything more than cute. Jitendra is a good actor but fails in very special moments when he has to take the scene to higher emotional levels. This one sadly did not go anywhere.
GANAPATH - 3.0 STARS. G.
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Directed by - Vikas Bahl
Starring - Tiger Shroff, Amitabh Bachchan, Kriti Sanon, Elli AvrRam
Why - It is a typical Tiger shroff kinda movie. It is similar but probably a little better than Crakk. Now you will say what is Crakk, please scroll up. The one you skipped because you did not recognize the star! This is the kind which you watch and then next day you don't remember you did watch it. No toll on your brain or emotions, a good nice time pass.
Why Not - How many such movies will tiger do? Come on Tiger! I know your dad named you tiger, not your fault but you don't have to leap in the air naked and kick someone in the face all the time! Let's get down to something better. ok son? thanks.
FIGHTER - 3.5 STARS. PG13.
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Directed by - Siddharth Anand
Starring - Hrithik Roshan, Deepika Padukone, Anil Kapoor
Why - You want a Desi Tom Cruise? You got it. Our hot and gracefully 'olding' Hrithik Roshan. The movie is about Air Force and all the elements of Top Gun are stuffed in it with dollops of desi masala. Hritik and Deepika are not just pilots but also dance with almost no clothes on beaches to bollywoodish songs that you can't remember as soon as they are over. But it is all fun and games dialogues and action and romance and emotions. Hritik emotes in a few scenes and makes you cry when he makes Deepika's parents realize they love their daughter with in like few minutes of meeting them. But Hritik does it.
Why Not - How much hate is enough hate? The movie tries to suck up to the Indian government and puts in so called real life events into the movie in shameless show of sycophancy. Bollywood groveling on their knees to let them make money is another list of people who have been cut down to size. Sad to see but again... How much hate is too much hate? Answer is - Hate begets hate. More the better.
TOP 10 HINDI MOVIES OF 2023
1. JAANE JAAN
What I remember - Great Mr Jaideep Ahlawat, the teacher is always wrong! Tumne wohi kiya na jo meine kaha tha, fir? Awesome awesome movie!
FROM THE FILES -
JAANE JAAN - 5 STARS. PG-13
Directed by - Sujoy Ghosh
Starring - Kareena Kapoor Khan, Jaideep Ahlawat, Vijay Varma
Why Should I Watch it -
2. ROCKY AUR RANI KI PREM KAHANI
What I remember - Great Mr Ranveer Singh. Like Jaideep he made this role his own. Really funny jokes. A lot of liberal agenda and over the top grand typical Karah Johar affair.
FROM THE FILES -
ROCKY AUR RANI KI PREM KAHANI - 4.5 STARS. PG.
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Rocky aur Rani ki Prem Khaaani - Trailer
Directed by - Karan Johar
Starring - Dharmendra, Jaya Bachchan, Shabana Azmi, Ranveer Singh, Alia Bhatt
Why should I watch it -
Remember NRI 90s movies that were tagged as Bollywood? yea Karan Johar is back! You crave a rich people love story? when did you last time see it? long time back. When did you actually laugh at a lead comic character? A mainstream masala movie with dollops of liberalism sprinkled all over - when did you last see that? When did you see every dialogue written so that you remember it forever?
तो भाई खड़ा खड़ा मुँह क्या देख रहा है. जा मूवी लगा वेब पे आ गयी है! क्या? तू आलरेडी देख चूका है? चल ठीक है फिर आगे ब्लॉग पढ़ ले.
Why not -
To annoy me? Because you suddenly are pretending that you like small budget realistic cinema even though you have not watched any of the ones I have been begging every one to watch? Forget it man, who am I to convince you.
3. BOB BISWAS
What I remember - One bloody ending. Memory may not return but the skills still remain. Awesome thriller.
FROM THE FILES -
BOB BISWAS - 5.0 Stars (R)
Directed by Diya Annapurna Ghosh
Starring Abhishek Bachchan, Chitrangada Singh
The Story - There was a great movie named 'Kahaani' and there was a character in that movie called Bob Biswas. That character is developed in this movie. This is purely indigenous 'made in India' character. Bob is out of hospital with zero memory of his past. People pop up around him convincing him of various things including that he was a hit man in past forgotten life. He has no clue if wife and his kids are real, his friends are real, his employer is real. His appearance is of a bank clerk, what is the truth? Does it matter?
The Characters - Abhishek Bachchan who is pretty under rated actor puts on a look of Bob Biswas and plays it with honesty. Chitrangada Singh looks good for her role and adds to the mystery. Bob's kids are great as Bob gets attached to them. But the best are the side characters, the police the criminals the annoying neighbor and the best one is the Bengali babu shop keeper who keeps hinting Bob on what they do and how it is guiding principle of his life. Actually I can watch movie again just because of that bengali uncle.
The Verdict - I gave it a 5 stars because it was so different and so under the radar. It was an awesome thriller and suspense which I had to find on internet to watch. This definitely keeps you engaged.
4. FRIDAY NIGHT PLAN
What I remember - Beautiful sibling story. Cute and sweet.
FROM THE FILES -
Directed by - Vatsal Neelakantan
Starring - Juhi Chawla, Babil Khan, Aadhya Anand, Ninad Kamat, Ria Chaudhary, Aditya Jain, Medha Rana
Why Should I Watch it -
Why not -
oh... I only watch Hindi movies that are big name bad movies. So I can watch them and feel superior by trashing them as rehash of hollywood.
oh .. I only like movies of my superstar, when he makes the same faces and has the same plot.. ahh the movies at their best.
5. ALMOST PYAR WITH DJ MOHABBAT
What I remember - Awesome dialogues! A typical Anurag Kashyap love story, if that is a thing.
FROM THE FILES -
ALMOST PYAAR WITH DJ MOHABBAT - 4.5 Stars. (PG)
Directed by Anurag Kashyap
Starring Karan Mehta, Alaya F, Amber Arya, Vicky Kaushal
The Story - This is an Anurag Kashyap love story. It is not your run of the mill love story. It is an Anurag Kashyap love story. That should be enough for you to watch it. This is bout two Love stories in different parts of the world played by the same couple. Their is a lover who can't see anything outside of love, there is a person who receives love due to innocence in their heart. The person who is hopelessly in Love has no 'hope' in this world. Humans in a society are zombies, with no brains left to think for themselves. They do what they think society wants them to do.
The Characters - Anurag again delivers a great movie. He is my favorite director along with Anubhav Sinha so I am biased. The breaking news is - Alaya and Karan. Great, great actors, what a performance in their double roles. Alaya specially is awesome, I have not seen a person so confident in her crying. Generally actors don't cry the way an actual person cries, because it contorts their face and they may not look good. Alaya cries like she means it. Well done Alaya.
The Verdict - Did you watch Manmarziyan? go watch that along with this one. 2 best love stories of last few years. If you only want standard Bollywood stuff, like a Karan Johar romance, then stay away from this one.
6. VADH
What I remember - The great Sanjay Mishra making this his statement. What a script and a thriller you have not seen before.
FROM THE FILES -
VADH - 4.5 Stars. (R)
Directed by Jaspal Singh Sandhu
Starring Sanjay Mishra, Neena Gupta, Manav Vij, Saurabh Sachdeva
The Story - From the looks of it, we were dreading it to be a Baghban 2.0. We dragged our feet to get to this one. AND o boi... how wrong we were. Probably the best desi thriller I have seen in a while. Seeped in Indian ethos this bone chilling thriller makes you tight in the jaw, as you go through the ups and downs with the old couple who are living an unassuming life. Their kid has left them with debt, the only bright spot is the neighbor's daughter. They kind of have adopted her and then there is this problem of a small time loan shark who they have to deal with.
The Characters - Sanjay Mishra's swag is at a different level. He is this regular uncle who can turn into 70s Bachchan in no time. Neena Gupta is a collossal great they both do something special in this great movie. But the credit needs to be given to Jaspal Sandhu the director. I will definitely look out for this name in future.
The Verdict - Get ready to be shocked. This is not an old couple's sob story. It is a taut thriller.
7. GULMOHAR
What I remember - Unexpectedly great family drama. Looked like a cringe affair turned out to be an awesome family drama with depth and breadth.
FROM THE FILES -
GULMOHAR - 4.5 Stars. (G)
Directed by Rahul V. Chittella
Starring Sharmila Tagore, Manoj Bajpayee, Simran, Suraj Sharma, Amol Palekar, Kaveri Seth
The Story - Did I tell you about a movie which looked like it will be a Bhaghban 2.0 but it turned out to be an awesome movie? Yea i think I said that twice. No you are not in a time warp. This is the third such movie that I dragged my feet to watch thinking it will be a boring social drama instead it turned out to be a great one. The story is around Manoj Bajpayee, who is engaged in this movie to give it a good effort. A family is leaving their ancestral home in heart of delhi to a suburb. In that backdrop their are love stories that are being affected or blooming, there are revelations and a lot more dirty secrets coming out in the open. A very well written family drama. This is not your soap opera this is a good progressive family drama you want to engage yourself with.
The Characters - Manoj is great in this one. Sometimes I am critical of him and I remember few years ago I was critical of his face lift and his fake hair he grew. Maybe it was my jealousy that he got hair transplant when I did not. Not to bring my own drama into this family drama. Manoj is a good actor and he keeps the movie engaging. Sharmila Tagore does great as a cool Grandma. Amol Palekar does a great character in negative shades, that was something he would have never done before. The kids are really good too, they don't come across as caricatures and each character has depth to them. Awesome work by the Director Rahul. I need to remember his name too now.
The Verdict - Overall this encompasses entire 5 season of 'This is Us' kind of drama (My favorite drama ever) into a movie. Only negative I can think of is - they pushed LGBTQ angle a little too much, but who cares.
8. BLOODY DADDY
What I remember - Stylish all out fighting. This is an out and out action movie. One hotel and one night let's fight.
FROM THE FILES -
BLOODY DADDY - 4.0 Stars. PG.
Directed by - Ali Abbas Zafar
Starring - Shahid Kapoor, Ronit Roy, Rajeev Khandelwal, Sanjay Kapoor, Diana Penty
Why Should I Watch it -
What I remember - Apurva looked like a regular affair but turned out to be a Kill Bill!
FROM THE FILES -
APURVA - 4.0 STARS
Directed by - Nikhil Nagesh Bhat
Starring - Tara Sutaria
Why Watch it - Spoiler alert! The last dialogue uff... 'By The Way - My name is Dante!' (From count of Monte Cristo). What the heck am I talking about? I had read this thriller novel when I was a teenager and in the end he reveals himself as Dante. Anyways, the point is Tara Sutaria is abducted by 3 goons and it is her story of survival. One of the goon keeps calling him Pinky (due to her pink dress) and then she delivers the line - 'Mera naam Apurva hai' and smashes his head. I loved the movie especially how a bumbling idiot of an actor like Tara can become a good actor in a movie if you give her something to do. I remember she was in one of those Race 3 type of movies and now she is here doing action and throwing some shade at the goons.
Why Not - It's a small movie but has great star cast of goons. In total there are not more than 10 characters in the movie. That may or may not make you like it. It's a thriller and you may not be in the mood for a thriller.
What I remember - If it's Yami you can't go wrong. Yami Gautam is getting to be this blog's favorite actor. A lotta responsibility and pressure!!
FROM THE FILES -
CHOR NIKAL KE BHAGA - 4.0 Stars. (G)
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Directed by Ajay Singh
Starring Yami Gautam, Sunny Kaushal
The Story - A love story turns into a thriller. The couple need to get out of the mess and need to steal a lot of money. Underworld and terrorist are involved as the couple try to escape from everyone including the cops.
The Characters - Yami is the King. Yami delivers another great performance. Sunny is as good as someone's brother can be. He does his job.
The Verdict - Surprisingly it was a pretty good taut thriller. Edge of the seat and a good story and a awesome climax makes it a 4 starer. Out and out entertaining thriller.
OTHER NOTABLE MENTIONS
11. GHOOMER - A sports movie.
12. LOST - A serious thriller
13. DREAM GIRL 2 - A comedy.
14. AN ACTION HERO - Philosophical Thriller
15. TARA Vs BILAL - Love Story.
TOP 5 WEB SERIES
1. GUNS AND GULAABS
What I remember - A villain who is inserted as a cartoonish super villain in a realistic setting! Creative and whacky and Rajkumar Rao at his best.
FROM THE FILES -
GUNS & GULAABS - 4.5 STARS. PG13
Directed by - Raj & DK
Starring - Rajkummar Rao, Dulquer Salmaan, Adarsh Gourav, Gulshan Devaiah
Why Should I Watch it -
2. DAHAAD
What I remember - Surprisingly good Sonakshi and a great script and presentation by Zoya and Reema. You can't go wrong with these greats!
FROM THE FILES -
DAHAAD - 4.0 Stars. PG13
Created by - Reema Kagti, Zoya Akhtar
Starring - Sonakshi Sinha, Gulshan Devaiah, Vijay Varma, Sohum Shah
The Story - A great cop drama. Cops try to be one step ahead of a serial killer to avoid more killings. Very standard serial killer plot done right.
The Characters - Easily the best work Sonakshi has ever done. Take a bow Sonakshi Sinha. Gulshan Devaiah and Vijay Varma all put in awesome performances. Sonakshi and Gulshan's Boss subordinate relationship is awesome.
The Verdict - First time a serial killer is revealed in first episode and still you can't stop watching. It's not the identity it's the process of trapping him that is enthralling. It's not even the actual killing but the side stories and characters and their wholesome treatment and experiences that make it a great show.
What I remember - An overdose of Drugs and LGBTQ issues. May not be for everyone but again it's a Zoya Akhtar production.
FROM THE FILES -
MADE IN HEAVEN-2 - 4.0 STARS. PG13.
Directed by - Nitya Mehra, Zoya Akhtar, Reema Kagti, Prashant Nair, Alankrita Shrivastava, Neeraj Ghaywan
Starring - Arjun Mathur, Sobhita Dhulipala, Kalki Koechlin, Jim Sarbh, Shashank Arora, Shivani Raghuvanshi, Mona Singh, Trinetra Haldar Gummaraju, Ishwak Singh
Why Should I Watch it -
4. POP KAUN
What I remember - This is called a out and out stupid comedy. Brains out laughter in.
FROM THE FILES -
POP KAUN - 4.0 Stars. (G)
Directed by Farhad Samji
Starring Kunal Khemu, Saurabh Shukla, Johny Lever, Rajpal Yadav, Ashwini Kalsekar, Farhad Samji
The Story - Kunal finds out his dad is not his dad. Starts the hilarious search for his 'Pop'. It probably was a movie that was divided into 5 episodes to make it a TV series. All the yesteryear comedians make an appearance and mostly all of them are funny except Chunky Pandey (what a surprise!)
The Characters - Kunal Khemu is our new Jimmy Shergill in the sense that all his films are good. He is center of all the fun going on. Saurabh Shukla, Johny Lever, and Rajpal Yadav all have their typical Quirks like responding to everything 10 seconds late or interpreting stuff that is similar sounding. Making it all stupid and hilarious. The best of the lot is Johny Lever's daughter who has a great comic timing and also mimics Johny Lever pretty well.
The Verdict - If you ever wanted to watch dumb stupid hilarious comedy this is for you. There is no underlying message it is completely stupid fun.
5. HASMUKH
What I remember - Veer Daas does write well. Very creatively written and great acting by Ranvir Shorey makes it a great watch.
FROM THE FILES -
HASMUKH - 4.0 STARS.
Genre - Crime/ Dark comedy
Directed by - Nikhil Gonsalves
Starring - Vir Das, Ranvir Shorey, Manoj Pahwa
Why Watch It - It is an old web series we watched now. Vir Das is a goo comedian and when he matches with Ranvir Shorey it is becomes double the fun. This series is a definition of dark comedy, brilliantly scripted and perfectly played especially by Ranvir Shorey! A comedian who can't muster courage to eclipse his mentor, who stutters in front of audience finds a way to become a fearless awesome funny comedian. The catch is - he needs to murder someone before every show!
Why Not - It's an old series. It gets slow after the initial blast of creativity and they struggle to end it in a proper way.
